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08/01/2011

going viral, the puking kind...illustrated with crappy pictures™

Last Monday started like any other Monday except the boys were being unruly. More unruly than usual, anyway. This was the beginning of a very long week that I almost couldn't handle. We were about to go viral. With an intestinal virus. Here is how it all went down...

So I hear them from the kitchen where I'm making breakfast. Yelling. Fighting.

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I peek around the corner and discover them using a xylophone mallet and a maraca to hit each other. Because this is what xylophone mallets and maracas are used for when they are being unruly. As clubs.

So I respond the usual way that I do when I catch them using musical instruments as weapons. 

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What is their deal? I'm getting grumpy. The week is not starting well. Why are they being so crazy? How am I going to handle a full week like this?

And then, several hours later, I see what their deal is.

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They are getting sick.

No matter what the virus is, my older son gets a stomach ache and my younger son gets a runny nose. I never know what it is going to morph into. This is the fun part. The waiting game.

And now my mama guilt is in full force for thinking they were acting like little jerks earlier. For not seeing what was really going on. The poor babies are sick!

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The nurturing super mama has taken over now. 

I'll do anything for them.

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And I'm optimistic. I truly believe that if we just have a mellow day full of cuddles and reading and soup that they will get better before they get worse. 

Just a quick 24 hour bug. I can handle this.

It seems to be going well. They don't seem to be getting worse.

Until the sun goes down.

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Nighttime brings out the worst. Always. I dread the nighttime when they are sick. 

But I can handle this. I clean it up and comfort him.   

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I'm in the livingroom walking the baby back and forth. My eldest is asleep on the couch, wanting to be near me. All is quiet and I think we have seen the worst of it.  

And then this happens:

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And continues to happen. All night. 

Nobody sleeps. My husband is in the background, mostly on clean up duty. And thermometer duty. And getting them to drink water duty. He sleeps in between.

Puking. Pooping. Sometimes alternating. Sometimes at the same time.

More puking.

More pooping.

More forcing them to drink water. Temperature taking. Carrying. Walking. 

Finally, the sun rises. All is calm. We are laying on the floor, flanked by a roll of paper towels and a puke bucket.  

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I feel a great sense of relief with the presence of the sun. I know the worst is behind us.

This time, I'm right. They remain terribly ill and grumpy and clingy but the pukefest is mostly over. We lay low all day. They even mostly sleep through the night! Mostly. 

Now Wednesday is here and things are looking even better! 

Oh, except for me. Once the kids are better I suddenly remember that I too exist on the physical plane and I realize that, wow, I'm super sick. I was so busy tending them that I didn't even notice that my temperature is 104. 

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Now I am the type of sick person that would prefer to hide under the covers and sweat it out. Alone. If I were an injured wolf, I'd go off and die alone in the woods. Alone. Alone is the key element here. Alone is what I need to get well. Alone isn't going to happen.

But I can handle this. I can. 

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They sense my desire to be alone which makes them cling even more.

But my husband will help.

 

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Only they don't want him. They want Mama. Only Mama. They still aren't 100% themselves and are in that "I was just sick so now I'm super clingy and whiny" stage of getting better.  

Finally he lures them away from me with promises of playing Candy Land. 

Game in progress I retreat to my bed.

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This is the first time I've wished for a never-ending game of Candy Land.

I don't get my wish.

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They are back. Want to cuddle with me.

The baby wants to nurse. He is still not feeling well. I get it. But I may have to puke or run to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea. Again. So having him attached to my nipple does not feel safe right now. Or convenient. I'm feverish and delirious so imagine that he is draining life out of me.

I just really want to be alone.

But I can handle this.  

Husband manages to pry them from me again and this time I get smart and lock the door. 

Only they do not like this. 

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I realize that this might actually be worse than letting them in. 

When all is said and done I think I got about an hour total of quiet alone time. Which is pretty good.

Over the next couple days I slowly start to get better.

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The boys are back to their highly energetic selves and I try to keep up even though I can barely stand up.

I can handle this though. I can. We are almost in the clear now. 

At last, I too am back to myself.

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The weekend arrives and with it, health! We are ready for a fun, family-filled weekend. Nobody is sick so we can actually go places! The sun is shining! Yay!

And then...

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He gets sick. On the weekend. How very conveinent for him. I try not to be bitter. He really doesn't have control over the timing. At least I don't think he does. 

So he proceeds to spend an entire day in bed. Alone.  

Moaning. 

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The kids are healthy and stir-crazy so I take them out of the house. All is quiet and peaceful for him. How nice.

And then he proceeds to spend a second day in bed. Alone.

At some point, as usual, he thinks he is dying.  

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And so I respond the way I always do.

We've been down this road before. I can handle this.

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I tell him matter-of-factly that he is not dying. He just has the flu.

The same flu, I remind him, that I had while taking care of the kids all week.

This is where he is supposed to have an epiphany of how amazing I am and what a hard week it has been for me and why I'm ever so slightly annoyed and jealous that he has been in bed for two days.

Only he doesn't.

Instead, he says something that is so completely the opposite of what I was expecting that I'm stunned at first.

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He tells me he must have a stronger, mutated version of the virus. Because there is no way I'd be able to have taken care of the kids if I felt even close to how he feels.

I don't even know what to say at first. 

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And then I know exactly what to say.

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So jokingly, I agree with him and tell him that indeed, he must have a mutated version and that he will surely die. 

I laugh to myself while I get him water and some hot soup, knowing that he just wrote the ending to my next cartoon. 

See? I can handle this. 

 

 

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PS - he was totally fine this morning.  We're all better now! 

 

Comments

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OMFG yes this is exactly how it is in our house! We had that virus last month, oh it is the worst when I'm sick yet have to take care of everyone else. So unfair.

YESSSSSSS! LOL

YES! YES! A thousand times, YES! You nailed it, per usual. And made me laugh out loud, a lot.

Really--where did you put the camera in my house? Because you are blogging my life! I love this!

HAHAHA....we just went through this in our house too.

Here is a MUST-WATCH comical video about the dreaded "man cold".... bwahaha!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE

That is exactly how it happens!

We were all sick last week too!!!! OMG - PUKE & POOP Fest here, too.... it was HORRIBLE. :o( And nope, I got no alone sick time......

HA! This is so hilarious, and I SO identify with every part of this (except I have one little boy instead of 2). Believe it or not, my husband has actually said almost this EXACT thing to me! "I must have a stronger version of it...I just can't do anything. So tired."

Riiiiight...mind if I borrow your puke bucket while I vomit from disgust?

OMG I actually Laughed Out Loud when I read the "Mutated Stronger Virus" Part!! that is SO my boyfriend when he doesn't feel good!

I trust you've seen "Man Cold"? Truer sketch never performed...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz6DktXFvg4

LOLOLOL is all I can say! I've experienced this too many times to count... though I have to say we've been lucky in that the kids actually take turns being sick.

I know how you feel. When I end up being sick, which isn't very often, I still have to get things for "him" and the kids (the kids I can deal with), but it's the "him" part that drives me batty because "He" doesn't understand that you need time off as well, even for about 1/2 an hour to get some quiet time.

No rest for Mama! The first time I had the throw-up/poop virus after I became a Mama (during the week/without my husband), I called my mom and apologized for all the times we didn't let her rest when she was sick. I don't remember being so needy, of course, but I'm sure I was! You are too funny!

Every Mom out there is nodding their head in full agreement... and laughing really hard! Probably forwarding this to their Husband, like I am going to do :)

men are babies lol. anytime my husband is sick he lays in bed claiming he is dying. yet...when i get sick...i get maybe an hour nap and then i either have to help with the kids, or do stuff around the house or go to work...the worse time i was ever sick that i can remember is when i was 8 months preggo with my 2nd, i was already feeling like crap my whole pregnancy, i was high risk so i was seeing the dr twice a week (3 hour appts...lame) and i got some kinda bug, well my hubby still made me help with the kids, and the needy dog and everything else around the house...preggo...sick...then he got sick...and was dying lol.

it just makes us the stronger people...but they will never admit to that...

Sounds pretty much like what hit our house back in March... minus the nursing. And we alllll got it at the same time. Happy happy joy joy! And then it lingered for 10 days with my oldest boy. He lost 5 lbs, which was 14% of his body weight! We had to do a stool sample. Don't. Wanna. Go. There. Again. He's only now creeping back up on the scale, poor thing!

Nursing with the flu and still alive to draw crappy pictures about it? My hero.

Ah yes, that is pretty accurate of what goes on in my house! The husband is always soooooooo miserable and somehow gets to be alone in his sickbed. We women are so much tougher!

My scenario is similar but when my husband is sick he wants ME to take care of HIM!! I agree...it's tough not to be bitter :-)

Just watched it, awesome! So perfect!

Ah yes! This is exactly it. Even the part where I'm hallucinating that there's a small vampire bat clinging to my breast...

My husband has never tried the "stronger mutated virus" thing on me, but he still doesn't seem to get that I'm operating the house and keeping the kids out of his way when I feel just as crappy as he does.

Tell you what - when you're a little older, you'll be happy (well, on some level) that your hubby isn't afraid to feel like poo and let you know. I personally have the "stoic hubby". So stoic, in fact, that he spent TWO YEARS (no, I'm not making this up) with severe sleep apnea before I finally nagged him to within an inch of his life to go to the pulmonologist and then the sleep study dude. And certainly - the apnea was among the worst they'd seen. They got him a CPAP machine and had it all fitted and he spent his first night with it.

The next morning, he woke promptly and said, "Why didn't I do this sooner?"

I could have gleefully poked him in the eye for that one.

Vampire bat! Yes.

Nail on the head. It is frightening how many of us Moms know exactly what you are talking about. Glad everyone is on the mend.

This reminds me of the bug we all had in November. Set to drive 8 hrs. out of state to the in-laws' for Thanksgiving, and my 2 yr. old pukes the night before. Hubby was like "Let's play it by ear. If he seems fine overnight & in the morning, let's go ahead & go." I remind him that WE will very likely be next, and who wants to be 450 miles away from home with the stomach flu? Or worse yet, be stricken while ON the 450 mile drive. So we go. And the hubs & I have one gigantic poop & puke fest 450 miles away from home (missing glorious Thanksgiving dinner, of course), AND we spread the love to father in-law (which put him in the hospital) and, finally (on the day we left to go home), mother in-law, who had been kind enough to care for our 2 yr. old as we layed writhing & moaning. Good times! #@$%&! stomach flu!!

Mercifully for me, the kids are older and that special corner of Hell is in the past. Nevertheless, when I say that I might be getting sick my husband always comments that he is too. And it's always worse than mine. On time I yelled "I am the only one who is going to be sick right now - NO ONE ELSE! This is not a competition!" He got the hint.

oh my gosh, each time there is a new post i think, "it can't possibly be as funny as last time!" and then it is. bravo. on everything. i have two daughters, 3 yr and 2 yr, and a wonderful husband who just turns into such a wimp when he is sick.
thanks for the good laugh. could definitely use it today, i didn't have puking/diarrhea but did have two very emotional/tired/tantrumy girls!

we just had it too. except at our house, we don't do the whole, everyone sick at the same time. we have to wait a week with *eager anticipation* to see who the next victim will be. 1 gets sick and then exactly one week later, the next one gets sick. etc. etc. so we pretty much have to block out a whole MONTH of our schedule to being sick. not sure which is worse.

I am a married mother of two, but I think we should move in together! Seriously, I absolutely love your work and send it on to all my mama friends every week. Thank you for making me laugh at my life.

Oh yeah, glad you all are feeling better too. I would have brought you some matzo ball soup.

Omg, your cartoons terrify me! I am convinced now that I don't know if I can ever handle being a mom. I am THE whiniest baby when I get sick. And my boyfriend wants to have 4 kids someday! Nope. No way. NEVER!!

So on the dot!!!

oh my god! It's good to know I'm not alone in that! It is so true! Men don't realise how good they have it lol :)

Men just don't handle illness well. We (by we I mean the ladies in my office and I. NOT my husband) refer to a man-cold as a "mold". Nothing worse than the dreaded mold. So much worse than the little colds as women get.

Sounds like your hub had what we in New Zealand call "man flu". Yup, mamas can never call in sick. I feel your pain.

hahaha! why is it that this is true for so many? lol my husband does the same exact thing. he is sure he is dying, that he has it worse than me and that he needs to be alone and rest. and it usually happens on the weekend for him too. lol just too funny.

Oh. Em. Gee.

Why is it that men refuse to understand that we feel as crappy (and sometimes more so) as them? We go through this every time a bug goes around and I swear to G that he's lucky I haven't smacked him upside the head with a cast-iron frying pan yet!

I strained my sacroiliac joint after having our second son in February (the joint that connects your hip to your spine), and have been seeing chiropractors and physical therapists ever since...hmmm isn't it interesting that all of the sudden hubby's back hurts too?!

Oh, and they never go to the doc when they're sick with say...conjunctivitis that they bring home from work. Thus GUARANTEEING everyone in the house gets it...including the 5mo baby.

EFFING MEN!!!

Glad everyone's feeling better! :-)

Be, honest. Seeing him writhing in bed did make you feel better, better than any amount of bedrest. Honestly, my husband is pretty good about helping out if I get sick. Yeah, I still get jealous when he gets to spend the day in bed while the kids wear me ragged.

Yup that sounds about right. I get sick? I work and I work, and work. Yes, tending to kids, cooking, etc all in between mad dashes to the bathroom and blowing my sore nose. DH gets sick? He calls into the office sick and sleeps...and sleeps...and sleeps until he finally emerges from his cave of slumber to declare his hunger, and how sore he is from sleeping. Please, honey, sit down while I call the waaaaaaambulance...after my back stops cracking that is.

If it's any consolation, I've nursed while sick on the toilet before too. It's great fun. ;)

This is EXACTLY what happened to my 7.5 Yo girl (also oldest) while we were abroad the 1st 1/2 of summer. She ate almost nothing X 2 days + diarrhea, and it killed me to see how much weight she'd lost. So thankful we are back in the US with Nana (my mom, who loves to cook)., & of course, crappy pictures to help me realize that no, I'm not a bad mother, yes, other mothers go thru this crap, & no, I'm not incompetent and bungling and stupid and wrong and all that nonsense.

I did nurse our daughter when I had salmonella.The husband getting sick was the BEST!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! LOVE it. Your best one yet. SERIOUSLY, men are nancies! LMBO
Thanks for the laughs. Hahahaha.... Oh man, I can't stop...

This is so exactly and completely what just happened last week in my house, except we were sick at the same time (and less vomiting). I managed to care for the 3 year old, while he slept on the couch.

I want a day off!!!

arg i hear you...why is it the out at work person gets sick at the weekend? why do i, as the stay at home person get sick during the week? i once made my husband stay home from work so i could go to bed, pointing out that if he got sick during the week, he got to take sick leave and come home to bed. i, however, had no sick leave to take from looking after the kids. Ergo, he was my sick leave. i think he got the point.

You always make me feel so much better when you mention the husband part, "This is where he is supposed to have an epiphany of how amazing I am and what a hard week it has been for me and why I'm ever so slightly annoyed and jealous that he has been in bed for two days.

Only he doesn't."

You make me laugh and it some how makes it better. Thank you!!

I am amused that they shrink in size, in your drawings, one they are sick.

All club like items have had to be banned in our home. No mallets of any kind, since the only use they seem interested in is playing them on each other's heads.

This is how it goes in my house as well.. but he says that he kept the kids while I just lated around and did nothing while he says Honey..what are you making for dinner..Honey he wont stop crying... Honey will you come get him im in the middle of a BG... Yeah World Of Warcraft.... and im the one sick...

Great post! I especially appreciated about being a lone wolf going off alone to die in the woods. That would so be me too. And the whiny-baby husband. Mine's the same. I've got a three month old and mercifully, no one has been sick yet, but I know it's coming.

Glad everyone's better.

hhahahahh thats such a good blog. SO TRUE! especially about hubby not having the ephiphany that wifey had the flu AND looked after the kids. I too get jealous of not having precious days in bed resting when I'm sick.... and they wonder why get resentful!

This is the theme at our house, too. I get sick, I take care of him and the kids anyway. He gets sick, he takes a 72 hour 'nap' and I am expected to care for him, the kids, and all of the stuff he volunteered to do for everyone else on the planet. We go shopping, he gets to look around and wonder at all the stuff and I just get to make sure the kids don't hurl broken 'pretties' at all of the other shoppers. We move (which we did this week) and I get to watch the kids AND pack AND clean AND load the U-Haul AND cook and unload the U-Haul, while he complains about having to load the heavy stuff all by himself. He goes and takes a 45 minute crap, all by himself and I take a 30 second poo with a kid attached to my boob and one screaming for her turn. He has a quiet 'chat' to his assorted relatives for 3 hours and I scream at my dad over the top of my 2 year old clawing at me and yelling for random stuff because I'm never so interesting as when I'm on the phone. He goes in, at his leisure, and goes to bed while I stay up until god knows when and get 1094839483 drinks of water, read 56435083 books, nurse the 2 year old 29405809823 times, and then I fall asleep propped up on a pillow on the floor patting the 5 year old who swears she just saw Godzilla spider. Yea. You are my twin.

Yes. Yes. and yes. PER USUAL...you are spying into my house and drawing what happens in my life verbatim.

(and why are husbands so bad at being sick?? seriously. It is a cruel joke of nature. Just like the "I am so tired" line they give us...what is up with that??!!)

Glad you are all better!!!

omgwtfbbq


a thousand times yes

alone

alone like a lone wolf

never

it escapes words

thank you

amen

For God's sake, woman. He's a man. He's got a man cold.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ

My husband has said EXACTLY THAT. I wanted to junk punch him! And what was about 36 hours for me literally was 6 days for him! (Plus another week where he just "didn't quite feel normal yet".) I get so frustrated, but what can you do? Oh, wait... that's right... junk punch them! LOL

The mutated virus thingy: SO TRUE!!! I almost peed on myself reading this story....especially the part about the kids banging on the door yelling when you look the door trying to recoup, even if it just for an hour!!! ROFL, so funny!!

LOVED the clinging kids pics!!

OMG!! Why is it that whenever we get sick the kids are extra clingy and we can seem to just get that time we need to recover? And when the hubby is sick its just sooo easy to go and lie down? I get a bit up tight when I think about it.

Ha! We had this exact scenario last week on "holiday." Two year old daughter first, puked six times and couldn't even keep water down (cue hysterical tantrums demanding water). She settled at around 3 am, at 5 am baby vomits all over bed, nurses, barfs again. Cue diarrhea for Mum. One day of "rest," then Dad gets it.

We should have just stayed home...

THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!! I'm a mom of twins and this was us a few months back! My husband was reading it with me and we weere cracking up. My face is covered with tears from laughing so hard. THank you! Pics were perfect!

AT CHRISTMAS I HAD THE FLU, MY 18 MONTH AND 2 MONTH HAD THE FLU AND MY HUSBAND WAS DYING, HE GOT THE GLORY OF OPENING PRESSIES WITH THE KIDS WHILST I HAD SOME TIME TO PEEL THE VEG WHILST SITTING DOWN AT THE DINNER TABLE (TO CONSERVE ENERGY), HE THEN HAD A SNOOZE WHILST THE KIDS HAD A SNOOZE AND I CLEARED UP ALL THE WRAPPING PAPER AND PUT THE PRESENTS IN THE ASIGNED ROOMS, PUT THE TURKEY IN THE OVEN AND MANAGE TO MAKE A CUP OF TEA WHEN THE KIDS WOKE UP! MY HUSBAND CONTINUED TO SLEEP, I WAS HAVING SERIOUS SWEATS AND DELIRIOUSNESS AT THIS POINT, AND MY SODDING TEA HAD GONE COLD! THE DAY CARRIED ON LIKE THIS BUT I GOT THROUGH IT. AS WE BRILLIANT MUMS DO, SO UNDERSTAND THIS SKETCH, BRILLIANT!

I'm dying laughing. Crying.

Daddy's sick day means a sick fay from work. Mommy's sick means I can't get the day off from work sorry.

Do you have a webcam secretly placed in my house???? I swear your blog posts are written using my family as inspiration. Thanks for all of the laughter your blog has created!

Dude. We have the same husband.

Good for your husbands; I hope they were watching the perky boobs infomercials I enjoy when I am pretending to be sick while the wife is shackled to our boys.

You capture this perfectly!!
Love it!

Hysterical! We could be married to the same man (if it weren't illegal). My husband has actually been known to say "Go, honey, save yourself!" when he's sick and I swear I've heard the mutated virus line.

OK, I am so sorry, because I was laughing all the way through this. Not AT you. It's just that I get it. I can't even tell you how much I get it. Especially the hubby part. OMFG if he has the tiniest of colds he acts like he is dying. Do I get to rest and be in bed and take care of myself when I am sick? No. That is motherhood. There are plenty of great things about being a mom. This? Is not one of them. Glad to read you are all doing better. Here's to a better week! :)

Umm yes exactly like this. From beginning to end. Exactly.like.this

Thank you for illustrating my life..

This is hysterical and oh so true. When my now teen age daughter was much younger she and my husband were sick at the same time--oh joy. I went to Dominick's which in retrospect seemed liked Paris and he called--:MOan--I am so sick, I am throwing up" Me--"So? such compassion right??? What do you want me to do?" Him--" come home as I am going to choke on my vomit" Me--after rolling on the floor in the produce aisle--"No humans have a gag reflex and you cannot choke unless you are so drunk you have no idea where you are." I come home and he insists I call the dr, whom I have known since I was a child. After the dr stops laughing--see it is contagious--he says the difference between my husband and my daughter when they get sick is that my then 8 year old daughter knows she will live, my husband is not so sure! So i completely understand! Too funny

I loved your story and I loved that you all got better. I have been there myself multiple times, but with only one little mama's girl who is a force of nature. However. You know what. I don't agree with Rena at all. I am so glad MY whiny annoying man who couldn't handle a pukefest kicked himself out almost two years ago. Now, when I and my child are sick, it's us. Just us. And the bucket and the towels. Now that she's almost 6 and can usually make it to the toilet, it's not that bad. I sure as anything do not miss the ridiculous BS that man got up to when he was sick. What a wussbag.

My husband does the same thing its frightfully annoying especially when he doesn't understand when I'm ill and dying and have a mutated virus =)

The first time my daughter had the stomach flu, was the ONLY time I've EVER been grateful to be sick too! My symptoms started only an hour after hers, so HE had to take care of her. All night. And the best part? I only threw up the one time. Then slept blissfully all night.

HE was up holding her puke bucket and denying her water (the on-call nurse said she had to be puke free for X minutes first, then a tablespoon of water every 5 minutes or something.) She was so young, she had very few words, but apparently for him it was a night of "Water please. Please Daddy please. Water. Waaaaah! Water please Daddy. Want water."
I *gladly* let him rest when he got it a few days later. Even though I was the only member of the household whose hair got puked into. Twice.

Wow, what a miserable existence. When I'm severely ill, I don't say, "I can handle it." I explain to everyone that I am going to get rest because if something happens to me, then where will they be? I expect empathy and compassion from husband and child a like. Remember, you teach people how to treat you. Don't be an exaggerated martyr or they'll learn to expect nothing else.

OMG! It is sooooo true!!! The men drive me crazy!
My husband says the same things and a few times he did have it worse and then I actually felt bad about it, but man I can't stand it... I literally grind my teeth when he acts like that when I just went through the same crap and had to deal with the kids all day! My father was the SAME way! I swear it must be a man thing! and I see this as the reason God made it so only women gave birth. LOLZ! I love all the men in my life, don't get me wrong, but jeeze.... They really wouldn't have been able to handle it!

That is hilarious and so true! So glad you are all better now. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at the breastfeeding baby and not feeling safe. Oh how I have had the same thoughts.

It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud but you got me big time. My daughter just sent me a link to your blog and I am so going to follow this. You are just the funniest writer and I think you have a way of seeing reality spot on. I am amazed that this husband illness scenario is obviously a universal thing. Cheers, Wendy

Fantastic, gave me such a laugh. Can totally relate. Although this last time we both got sick at the same time. He did get to spend more time in bed than me & I even made the kids their breakfast while sitting on the kitchen floor because I couldn't stand long enough.

Ahh love it! Your way of illustrating that, is. I have two boys, who look to be similar in age... its like someone wrote my biography! Thanks!

This has me laughing out loud! Your depiction of both children climbing up you while you're deathly ill is the funniest.

No more single mama pity for me... at least when my son and I are better, there's no one left to catch it and moan. :-)

Great post, hysterical pics, awesome job!

This is so hilarious (in a painful kind of way). I love your crappy pictures - they are so true to my life too! Like someone else said, i can totally relate to the hallucinations. I have felt like my baby was draining the life out of me on numerous occasions.

Thank you for the comic relief ;)

This was so funny that not only did I repost it (and the man cold video) on fb but I printed to reference this winter when we need it! LOL funny! Thanks for sharing!!!!

This is exactly what happens and it's even worse because my husband is a hypochondriac.

LOL! This is all so spot on! And if it makes you feel any better, my 14 year old's first sign that he's getting sick has always been that he gets incredibly mean the day before, my 9 year old's first sign of illness is that he is spastic and gets in trouble for doing impulsive things all.day.long. My 5 year old's first sign? She can't sleep. I don't know which one is worse. ;)

This is the most brilliant blog I've ever seen in my life.

My husband also magically always gets the mutated, stronger version of illnesses, despite getting massive amounts of quiet time and rest and care that I didn't get.

Sometimes when I want a chuckle I imagine what it would be like if men had to deal with pregnancy and birth.

And if we don't let our husbands lay in bed the whole weekend, the complaining will just go on all week about how tired they are from being sick! So funny!

That was the funniest thing I've read in years!! I was laughing and laughing and laughing. Thank you! What talent!

totally the way it happens in our house...except that the kids AND I are usually sick at the same time and then hubby beats a hasty retreat to wherever leaving me alone and *then* comes back to lay in bed "dying" for two days after drinking all of the damn ginger ale.

This is sooo funny- when it is not happening to you!

Ok, I am laughing so hard I am crying!

So true. Hilariously put. Glad you're all feeling better.

Thank the lord that I found this blog and this post particularly! This made me laugh so hard. It is as though you are telling my life story! This needs to be a coffee table "board book" (so the kids don't mess it up). Thank you!

Okay, now picture this "twist" . . .my 3 year old (then 2 1/2) starts the puking at about ten pm and throws up / poops / throws up etc. Until 4:00 a.m.
At 4:30, I get my first contraction.
All day in sleep deprived labour, which goes surprisingly well.
Midnight, I'm feeling "unwell" after four tuna salad sandwiches. You would NOT want to see even a crappy picture of me with a bowl at either end and the nurses freaking out. This goes on for five hours.

But I would send a pic of the next three days in hospital isolation, no visitors, the occasional nurse in a hazmat suit pushing a food tray under the door. The best part? My husband and his mutated version of the virus, stuck at home hanging over the toilet bowl, im surenwith my daughter hanging all over him and driving him nuts, as she was feeling fully re-energized by that time.

Most unexpected vacation I ever had.

Why do husbands always think they get more sick than us?!?!?! I get a raging virus and hardly complain, he gets a sinus infection and can hardly get out of bed!!!

Hilarious post, once again! Love love love the illustrations! So many times while reading I have to throw my head back and laugh silently (cause the baby is sleeping), you describe life as a mom perfectly!

OMG!! you are so right.....and now that the boys are gone he is even twice as bad.....

Brilliant, just brilliant. A girlfriend just directed me to your site - I owe her a bunch of flowers. The laugh is just what I needed. Found this post, oh and how I laughed. Man flu indeed. xoxo

Oh you're so funny I can't take it! I've been reading and reading! And you just know how to exactly hit the nail on the head...

OK these may be "crappy pictures," but they depict the way I felt last week perfectly. I had your pictures running through my head all week. I caught what my kids had and then I felt the way your drawing looks while laying in bed nursing and feeling so awful and just wanting space. I wanted to steal that frame for my FB profile picture. Well, the kids' virus cleared up in a couple days, and mine morphed into mastitis! So it turns out my little one was just trying to do his part in keeping me healthy. And he helped clear it up too. Now my husband, who's often the stereotypical man-baby when it comes to being sick (see man cold video posted twice above) just came down with it and is working VERY late tonight. So he doesn't get to be "that guy" in my story this time. He's being the tough, bless his heart. Oh and Rena, yes my husband is very reluctant to see a doctor about chronic issues, but is still usually a big baby when it comes to things like colds and fevers... just goes to me instead of the doctor. Because lets face it, we mommy types baby everyone and they all get rather used to it.

I think this blog is going to be my latest addiction. Pirate story is another one that's sticking with me (that talking thing doesn't clear up or go away.. at least not by seven and a half. I was hoping it was a girl thing.). Your crappy pictures are so not crappy. Thanks for sharing.

I gelt compelled to comment - this is hilarious! My husband has spoken those exact words to me more times than I can count!

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