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08/10/2011

the toddler hallucination theory: Car Seats

Sometimes toddlers act crazy. Insane! They make no sense! But this is just because we aren't seeing what they are seeing. 

I have a theory that toddlers hallucinate.

By the time they are old enough to tell you, they have outgrown it. So this will never be proven. But I'm pretty sure it is true.

Take car seats for example. When you see this:

Carseat1

 

They are probably actually seeing something like this:

Carseat2

Once you accept this hallucination theory, they will make more sense to you.

Visualizing what they might be seeing has been proven to decrease parental frustration and increase empathy.

It will also give you something to do as you stand in the parking lot while they scream.

 

Comments

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Totally hilarious. I needed the laugh today. Thanks!

Haaaahahaha that is so great!

I wonder what my 14 month old was seeing about 10 minutes ago when I was changing her EXTREMELY poopy diaper. She was kicking and screaming, causing poop to get all over me and her. Hmmm....

huh? i had no idea...it explains our daily wrestling match.

sounds about right;-)

OH YES. LOL, I nearly peed my pants when I saw the carseat monster! So fricken funny, this is so true.

Bliss. (Though, with 4 of them 4 and under, no, it does not increase sympathy or empathy. It only makes me want to knock them unconscious out of mercy as well as frustration.)

So THAT is why I can't get either boy into their carseats for the first several months! LOL!! Thank you SO Much for explaining this.

totally funny...thanks for the laugh today

I think your illustrations are improving! Pretty soon you won't be able to call describe them as "crappy". ;-)

I know. Damn practice makes better. I'll have to work on maintaining the crap.

Too funny! We have a two year old going through this phase right now. :)

Oh my God! I'm spitting water all over my keyboard! So funny!

So true.

Now that theory makes sense to me!!! Totally hilarious and true! Love your stories

Yes, totally. Where do you think imaginary friends come from?
P.s. This is my new identity. The secret code word is "Cat-rapey"

LOL totally needed a good laugh !! Thanks!

Well, this makes total sense! Too funny. I'll be imagining all the things he "could" be seeing from now on.
-Jane

seriously the funniest thing ever. had to share on facebook- you so hit the nail on the head!

putting on my 'spoilsport annoying serious poster amidst all the funny' hat...

Not sure exactly how old the toddler in the 'toons is supposed to be, but he looks young enough that he should still be rear-facing. :)

Current recommendations are to keep all kids rear-facing until age 2, and even as much longer as the car seat's weight and height limits will allow. Turning them at 1 year is a bare legal minimum, not a requirement. Studies show kids are five times less likely to die if kept rear-facing.

Anyway, sorry to be the stick-in-the-mud but it's an important issue that many parents actually don't know about, and your cartoons are so wonderful and so popular, it's a great opportunity to pass this message along. :)

(As for the parents that always pop up and say "oh but my child hates rear-facing, I can't wait to turn him forward", just realize that they'll see this monster in the seat whichever way it's turned. ;)

You're a genius! And freaking hilarious. :)

OMG! This is the best post I've seen since I began reading/stalking your blog!!

Both of my daughters went through carseat hallucinations around 1-2 years of age. Oddly my 2-year-old son hasn't experienced "car-mares" yet. :P *fingers crossed*

I had frightful hallucinations as well ~ worried that folks in the parking-lot would call the police to report me for kidnapping or torture! LOL
I mean, how do you explain why a child is lurching and screaming at the top of her lungs, in her terror of getting into the car with you?! ;D

Here is a good resource for anyone reading along & unaware about the age 2+ recommendation change: http://www.thecarseatlady.com/car_seats/rear-facing_seats_6.html

There are other people who have had 4 kids in 4 years?? Nice to see I'm not alone! And I totally agree, btw.

Totally made my day after fighting with my 11-month old about his car seat, stroller and shopping cart. The only place he would go willingly was the Ergo.

Hahahahaha! Love this. The drawing of the car seat monster? Perfect.

LOL!!!
From the movie the Change Up, Jason Bateman...
"Having children, it's like living with little mini drug addicts. Y'know, they're laughing one minute, and then they're crying the next, and then they're trying to kill themselves in your bathroom for no good reason. They're very mean and selfish; they burn through your money..."

LOVE THIS!!! :) Thank you so much!!!

1. The devil illustration rocks my world.
2. You must be absolutely right about why the arched back screamfest happens often for the carseat.
3. I love your posts.

Oh my god, thank you! After listening to my toddler scream all morning and afternoon I really needed some perspective.

I was introduced to your blog a couple of weeks ago, and just wanted to thank you for the joy you've brought me ever since. Every post has been just SPOT-ON to my life with a 2-year-old and made me literally laugh out loud. And as the chronically ill mother of a toddler (combination = sucks!), I can use all the laughs I can get. Thanks!

I've been subscribing for a few weeks and your posts make me giggle, but this is the first one where I've been laughing long and loud enough to make my 4 yo want to know what's so funny. My 1yo twins do this every. time. Booster seats too. Thank you for a laugh this afternoon - I needed one. :)

thank you again for a wonderfully hilarious post!

You could always try using your wrong hand to draw and maintain the crap. :)

Hillarious! That explains my toddler perfectly - except he's been hallucinating since about 7 months.

love, love, love your blog. I read it everyday. Just a side note; car seats can get really hot in the summer. My 2 yr old refused to go in hers without her blanky until I realized it was hot. She would sit on her blanket in the car.

wow - great job capturing the arching toddler, rigid body, not wanting to get in their seat!!! oh, my aching back! :)

I know for a fact that toddlers hallucinate. I'm 28 years old and I'm still hallucinating.

that' funny. sometimes I hallucinate too

I'm dying, that's hilarious and makes perfect sense! Now if you can just get into the toddler mind and explain why I am unable to explain to a hysterical two year old that Humpty Dumpty really is all right...30 minutes of cry...for real, I hid the book that started it all :-/

I absolutely love these drawings and stories... they're SO true! I wish I couldn't draw like you! :) thanks for always cheering me up! :D

seriously hilarious! I rarely lol when it comes to the internet, but this made me giggle for a good 5 minutes. I totally agree with you on your theory!

Is it possible I have a monster on my FACE? Because my toddler keeps whacking me and telling ME no and it can go from him and I happily laughing and playing to suddenly this change. Geez is it ever FRUSTRATING! I need to separate myself and try to find the humor otherwise I might cry (and well, yes I have!)

Poo Monster! My baby sees him too!

I'm envisioning the hallucinations my kids must be having about their socks and underwear! Ouch!
Thanks for the laugh, your blog totally gives me the comic relief I need after a long, long day of motherhood.
:)

At one point I had 4 under 4 as well! I had a 3 year old, 2 year old, 11 month old and a newborn. ALL BOYS!! They're now 10, 9, 6, 5, and I have a baby girl about to turn 3 this weekend now too. So yes, I feel your pain. :)

I know they hate being tied down like mental patients, and hate long car rides. That's why I don't get out much. To pass the time, I browse crappy pictures on the Internet…

You make me laugh SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. I love your stuff and I am sharing it with everyone I know. And THEY all love it too.

Thank you for being you and for drawing wonderful crappy pictures!

That is THE best thing Ive heard all week!

Have you noticed that toddlers and cats share the same Hallucination problem?

How is that I only figured out to subscribe to the genius that is you now? I've seen you all over my facebook feed and laughed every time. This post explains so much about my crazy car hating kiddo. Thank you.

Oh my gosh! You have totally cleared this up for me. Genius!

This hallucination theory explains so much! Not just the car seat issues, but also the diaper changes (love that someone said Poop Monster!), not wanting to be put down, refusing to go inside/outside/in a room/out of a room, and so much more!

You are brilliant!

Love every blog you've done so far- makes me laugh every time.. keep it up mama!

This is so funny. I found your blog last week and since then I think I have read EVERYONE you have done. I LOVE this one!!! I tell everyone about your blog. It's awesome. Thanks for the laughs..

I was thinking the same thing, Tara!

Awesome post! You are hilarious! Thank you so much for the laughs!

I saw the title of this on another website and thought it was a legitimate study at first. It reminded me of one day in my psychology 101 class last year. Asad, a guy from Afghanistan who is already hilarious, said this to our teacher:

"My little nephew, he's five, and he will tell a story that has a chicken in it. And then when he tells it again there's no chicken in it. And I say, 'Wait a minute, where did the chicken go?' And he says, 'There is no chicken.' Where do these lies come from?"

The teacher, without missing a beat, said, "It's called IMAGINATION, Asad."

Oh, also (sorry I didn't mention before) I love the pictures. I just got married in January and have yet to discover the joys of parenting, but I found this really funny anyway :-)

LOL. I couldn't imagine!!

YOU are a riot!! LOL Such insight!! ;0)

My god. This is IT. From now on I will just assume that his vegetables look like maggots too and I can stop sweating it so damn much.

Hilarious and so true! Thank you for clarifying this for me. We must have a carseat monster and also a changing table monster. Sometimes they are there, and sometimes they're not. And only Zoe can see them! Now I get it. :)

LOL hilarious. and totally spot on!

OMG SOOOO TRUE! I look like such a monster trying to get my child into his carseat, its its like I'm strapping him into a torture device and making him listing to Justin Bieber as I drive.

GREAT. We just had #3 and our youngest just turned 7. You are reminding me of all the stages I had so conveniently forgotten about thus convincing us that #3 was a great idea!

So true! I've always wondered why the carseat was such a terrifying proposition.

Did it occur to anyone that when people smoke in the car, the poor little ones are getting sick to their stomaches and feel like vomiting? Of course they scream..they have no choice but to breathe in your poison. No wonder Asthma is on the increase.

Possibly the case! But how can they just come up with these scary things unless they are watching something far too mature for them ie video game or many tv/cartoon shows. Just a thought. I think when the back arch/screaming starts it also because they are sure there is something much more important/exciting they NEED to be doing! :)

There's a reason we stopped at one. One kid took up enough time and energy, I can't IMAGINE doing justice to more than that. Four at once? You have my utmost sympathy, even if you did do it voluntarily.

No wonder my 6mo freaks every time it's time to go out!

We must have a stroller monster. :@))

Oh, my goodness. I literally have tears over here from laughing! *loves it*


So true! For some reason I remember seeing monsters in the grain of woodwork when I was a kid.

I have a lot of intact memories from age 2-6, which I gather is unusual. And that hallucination theory has merit. What I saw is not what adults saw.

This explains why his socks and shoes are made of lava and why he screamed "NO SHIRT!!!" for 30 minutes straight the other night. :)

I love this!! This so explains my son. I think there must be one monster that goes from item to item.. car seat, stroller, high chair, ect... This was perfect.

oh man... this is great. thanks, i needed this!

oh I LOVE this !!!!!!!
Just what I needed this morning, a good giggle :-)

Oh my goodness, that was hilarious. I will definitely use that next time I am getting super frustrated with mine!

My private theory is that between the ages of about 18mnths and 5 years you are actually dealing with a drunk person. It's how I get through my day when my 3 1/2 yo is being insane: "oh. I understand that now. It's just what a drunk person would say/do/excrete".

OMG! This is exactly what my grandson did today, including saying "Poopy diaper", when he didn't even have one! BTW, love, love, LOVE your blog!!!


Having a car is every man's dream, I wish to have one!

That is absolutely true! My little brother always resist from sitting in the car seat alone and cries hard.

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