sunscreen (or, how I torture my kid)
We all torture our kids with various things.
For some, it is hand washing. For others, tooth brushing. It can be putting on shoes, drinking water, taking a bath or getting strapped into a carseat.
Over the last year for example, I've been torturing my son with this neato product:
Sunscreen.
Oh yes, I've tried different brands, let him pick them out, called it different names ("happy sunny lotion!") and all that good parenting stuff.
Each one inflicts just as much pain and suffering as the next.
It goes like this...
I nonchalantly mention that sunscreen is happening in the near future.
Torture has begun.
I soften the blow by letting him know good news.
He doesn't like the news, which is confusing. He loves the beach.
I ask him to explain.
Oh, it is just good old torture avoidance. He really does want to go to the beach. Probably.
So then I try a bunch of crap...
This is where I attempt different parenting tricks. I already know the tricks so you don't need to tell them to me. Like offering to "do it together" or "how about you do it yourself" or "I'll wait until you are ready" and stuff. Or making a game out of it "let's see how quickly we can do it, we'll count!" and blah, blah, blah.
No really, I've tried all the methods and read all the books.
I have tried everything short of using any kind of force, because that just ain't my thing.
But he is a smart little bugger.
He knows that no matter how it is presented I am essentially just saying this again:
And he doesn't like that.
Torture resumes.
He screams so loud I expect the neighbors to call the police. They haven't yet.
He screams a bit more.
Then suddenly, he stops screaming, stands up and agrees to put the sunscreen on.
Not without more whimpering and whining though. Even a tear or two.
Finally, after all of three seconds we're done.
His arms and face have a thin layer of torture cream on them.
But he has completely forgotten about it.
And he runs to the door, ready to go, like nothing happened.
Because really, nothing did happen.
I sure wish he'd remember this.
What do your little ones hate to do the most?
My ever-popular disclaimer: this isn't a real-time post. He is cool with sunscreen now. But this was pure torture age 3-4ish.
hah! Ahhhh trying to understand the logic of kids...
Torture in my house, some days, is hair brushing. Sigh. OH, even worse- hair washing!! Don't know why- we've done both every day since babyhood.
Posted by: Laura | 09/29/2011 at 05:15 PM
haha... so funny. Bathtime is torture time for my 7 year old.... he hates it.
Posted by: maggie | 09/29/2011 at 05:17 PM
HOMEWORK. Yeah, that's the torture device awaiting you in your not too distant future. My 7-year-old cried like a baby FOR NO REASON because she had to answer 1 question tonight. One question. From a reading assignment. About a girl & her dog. And she loves dogs. Go figure...
Posted by: Sheryl | 09/29/2011 at 05:17 PM
We also have hair issues...my son has short hair, so one would think the maintenance of his coif would be no trouble at all, but he screams like a banshee getting his hair washed, dried, or styled at home. When he goes for haircuts, he is an angel though. WTF?
Posted by: Jamie | 09/29/2011 at 05:18 PM
OH my gosh! This is the same as washing hair in our household! My 3 year old daughter just won't have it.
Posted by: Anna | 09/29/2011 at 05:19 PM
hands down.. putting their shoes on. Apparently they are torture chambers.
Posted by: Christine Curry | 09/29/2011 at 05:19 PM
hahahaha!! Yes I know that feeling too well. It used to be sunscreen for a little while but now it's always rinsing the hair after washing. Heaven forbid the water touch their eyes or ears! They've been doing the 'scream until the neighbours call the cops' thing too.... :/ Brushing teeth is also apparently cause for screaming, unless I let them do it themselves, which doesn't work. They're 4 and 2.5 so can't do it properly yet....meh....dentures would probably be easier to clean anyway.
Posted by: Rochelle Kaisin | 09/29/2011 at 05:19 PM
Your blog is awesome, I think I've sent the link to everyone I know.
I'm a first time parent of an 8 month old who just got his first cold. Who knew a nasal aspirator was a medieval torture device? Oh, and I've tried 3 different ones - the "awesome" one from the hospital (obviously not in our house), a little noses one and the automatic one. No dice. Man, I'll be happy when he can blow.
Posted by: April | 09/29/2011 at 05:19 PM
My daughter is just 6 months old, but for the last 6 months, our choice torture device has been the car seat.
Yes, since she was a little 4lb baby, she would throw a screaming fit when we put her in the car seat.
*sigh*
Posted by: Katie | 09/29/2011 at 05:22 PM
Our current torture times are diaper changes and nail clippings.
Esp.when my 3 1/2 yr old was 20ish months old. Holy cow, changing her diaper was a nightmare!! She screamed BLOODY murder the ENTIRE time. Not even kidding. I had to change her in the bathroom at a public library one time, and you should have SEEN the looks people gave me when we came out. Just changing her diaper, folks, not beating the crap out of her.
WHY do they not understand that in all the time it takes for them to pitch fits, we could have been long finished whatever it was we were doing?!?!?!
Posted by: Corrie K | 09/29/2011 at 05:23 PM
For the four year old it's cutting fingernails...acts as if I'm about to amputate without anesthesia. For the 2 1/2 year old it's diaper changing...I guess he likes sitting in poop all day long.
Posted by: Annie | 09/29/2011 at 05:24 PM
This is exactly how my husband responds to all lotion and sunscreen. He can be so dry his skin might crack and bleed and still the tantrum followed by the application of microscopic amounts under duress. He insisted he doesn't need sunscreenm because he doesn't burn. Sigh. What can you do?
Posted by: LisaK | 09/29/2011 at 05:24 PM
Putting on a shirt. I'm guessing maybe he feels trapped inside the shirt? Oh and wiping food off his face, he screams as if I'm rubbing sandpaper on his face or something...
Posted by: JoAnna | 09/29/2011 at 05:24 PM
Getting shots is torture for my son. I cant say that I blame him. Last time we were at the Drs office, they stripped him down to his underwear before his shot. he is 7 and weighs 40 lbs, but he turned into a crazed spider monkey as soon as the nurse brought in the syringe. Things got very ugly, and he told the nurse that he thought " The people who make medicine just was to hurt kids with those needles because they could put the medicine in a pill but they dont". He is freakishly strong and had to be pinned down for his own safety while they administered the shot. He stopped crying the minute the needle went into his little leg. Then he said " Oh , I guess that wasnt so bad" . I cried when it was all over, and he hugged me and gave me the sticker the nurse gave him. The he said " stop crying Mom, this was no big deal"
Posted by: Mommazach | 09/29/2011 at 05:24 PM
torture time is getting my toddler dressed. people wondered why for pretty much the whole summer i let him run around in just a diaper (at least he wears cloth, they are cute!) but now it's fall in northern illinois and he is forced to wear clothes. he screams and runs away every time, and now he is getting stronger and smarter every day and i might just hibernate for winter. i don't know how the heck i'm going to get a winter coat/hat/gloves on this kid! oh, but he loves putting shoes and socks on. he will just wear a diaper and shoes and socks.
Posted by: Amanda | 09/29/2011 at 05:25 PM
Ours used to be handwashing (your story covers the process poerfectly)... but when we went to Auntie's house, she used to make them wash like every 15 minutes (Germophobic). So, now that the kids are a bit older, and they still remember the hand torture, they do things like grabbing her hand and then telling her that they just picked up dog poop, or licking the doorknob to really freak her out! :) Glad they terrorize someone else!
Posted by: Deanna | 09/29/2011 at 05:25 PM
Sunscreen is our torture device here too, this post is so funny! Going on three years now, she is nearly six! For her it is because it is wet and cold I guess, at least that is what she says. Can't wait until she grows out of this one because it will happen eventually, right? Now she does it herself but not without high pitched whining.
Posted by: Allison | 09/29/2011 at 05:26 PM
car seat for the baby, face wiping for the middle guy, and hair rinsing for my daughter. what fun! hilarious post.
Posted by: Annie | 09/29/2011 at 05:26 PM
Love your blog! I tried the "let him do it himself" trick too with my 2-yr-old. I was so proud of myself until I looked up from his legs and saw him putting it in his mouth and rubbing it in his eyes! Oops.
Posted by: Kerry | 09/29/2011 at 05:33 PM
Pulling the plug out of the bath always gets my little man. He seriously believes that he is going to get sucked down the plughole along with the water. This is from a VERY smart almost 3 year old. I have no idea where he got this idea. I have to get him out of the bath the instant he pulls out the plug. A few times I have held his hand while the water does its thing. He screams and screams like mad. Ahhh... Oh well, that's life as a parent...
Posted by: Carly | 09/29/2011 at 05:33 PM
Both my boys HATE getting their noses wiped and their faces washed. I'm sure that if it were up to them, they'd be covered in dry snot and caked-on yogurt until bath time. For some reason I can wipe their faces all I want if they are in the bath. Kids are weird.
Posted by: Robin | 09/29/2011 at 05:33 PM
This is what I go through. But with my husband. haha. The only way I get him or the kid to cooperate is with the spray stuff. Babies.
Posted by: Meghan | 09/29/2011 at 05:34 PM
This is why it is called "SUNSCREAM!" in our house.
Posted by: Moynihal | 09/29/2011 at 05:34 PM
lately, eating!! lol
even though your little one is cool with sunscreen now, maybe for those who are still having issues with it could apply it with a paintbrush and "paint" the kiddo, or have them do it themselves. :)
Posted by: Pamela Susan | 09/29/2011 at 05:36 PM
lately, eating!! lol
even though your little one is cool with sunscreen now, maybe for those who are still having issues with it could apply it with a paintbrush and "paint" the kiddo, or have them do it themselves. :)
Posted by: Pamela Susan | 09/29/2011 at 05:36 PM
Ah, that brings back memories. :) When my 7 yr old was about 8 months, he was terrible about getting his diaper changed. Would fight like the dickens. It wasn't too much of an issue with me at home, thankfully, but once he had to start daycare, it was. The first day at daycare, he screamed so loudly that teachers came running from every classroom in the building, sure that someone was cutting his arm off or something. I warned them, they just didn't believe me.
Now, it's homework. God forbid you ask him to write ANYTHING. It turns into an hour-plus whine and cry-fest, even over a single sentence.
Posted by: Catherine | 09/29/2011 at 05:36 PM
Brushing hair and washing hair are the dreaded torture instruments here.
Posted by: Denise | 09/29/2011 at 05:36 PM
Try the Nosefrida. They still hate it, but it actually works so it goes faster.
Posted by: Moynihal | 09/29/2011 at 05:37 PM
Okay, you win. I never did think of painting! That probably would have worked too. Tucking that away in case little bro hates it just as much later on.
Posted by: Amber Dusick | 09/29/2011 at 05:38 PM
Ugh! Hair brushing for my son is like I am murdering him. Every time. Every day. I have told him to either brush it or we cut it all off. Apparently, he likes his long hair more than he minds the brushing. But EVERY. FREAKING. TIME!
Posted by: Jessica | 09/29/2011 at 05:38 PM
Yes! Love that.
Posted by: Amber Dusick | 09/29/2011 at 05:38 PM
That would be hair washing for my 3 yo and chores for my 11 yo! same methods have been tried, none make the torture any less severe!
Posted by: Cheryl | 09/29/2011 at 05:39 PM
Oh yeah, I remember the face wiping screams. I just gave up eventually.
Posted by: Amber Dusick | 09/29/2011 at 05:39 PM
Same here! My son is 3 and for the longest time he has been terrified of the plug. He will pull the plug out but then move like a rocket to get out of the tub. He even has a squishy crab who he says is mean, and crab ALWAYS gets left in the bath wen the plug gets pulled, lol
Posted by: CJ | 09/29/2011 at 05:43 PM
My son got a sinus infection when he was about 15 months old. He would wake up with it all in his hair, smeared all over his pillow and both nostrils would be practically sealed with lime green snot...the joys of parenting ;) He was so pitiful.
Posted by: Brandy P | 09/29/2011 at 05:43 PM
This is the story of my life at the moment.
Posted by: JenGuest | 09/29/2011 at 05:43 PM
For my ds it is going wee in the toilet. Almost always creates a tantrum. He ates weeing himself to, so go figure
Posted by: CJ | 09/29/2011 at 05:44 PM
Holding my hand is torture.I always get the "No!" yank hand away and darts into traffic!!
Posted by: Veronica | 09/29/2011 at 05:45 PM
Brushing teeth...ugh. I can't tell you the number of different types of toothbrushes and toothpastes we have purchased in order to make teeth brushing fun and less "torturous".
Posted by: Becky O. | 09/29/2011 at 05:45 PM
Hair cutting used to be the extreme torture, thankfully it is over, my son would scream blue murder, quite literally, i was also convinced i would have Police and Dept of Children services on my doorstep, so much so i would delay the murderous hair cut as long as possible :(
Posted by: Vickie | 09/29/2011 at 05:46 PM
Mine was terrified of the changing table. I guess he was afraid he'd fall off. Once I figured it out I stood him up when I could (i.e. not supremely poopy).
Posted by: Stephanie | 09/29/2011 at 05:46 PM
Hand and face wiping--the seven year old sings "Mommy with the evil wipes" to the tune of "Farmer in the Dell" every time I go near the three year old with a wipe!
Posted by: Rosanne C | 09/29/2011 at 05:47 PM
Yes, I hear you Laura - it's hair washing in our house too, though sometimes, if Miss 5 is in the right frame of mind and is singing a little song, she doesn't even notice. Then she says in a surprised tone "that wasn't so bad, was it?" Arghhh! What I've been saying for MONTHS!
Posted by: Silverdragon | 09/29/2011 at 05:47 PM
LOL!
Posted by: Sharee | 09/29/2011 at 05:48 PM
Maggie add a glow stick or two in the bath water and turn off the lights :)
Posted by: Katie | 09/29/2011 at 05:50 PM
OMG Lisa, you too huh? My hubby HATES to put on sunscreen, but he is incredibly fair, so he has to, or burn to a crisp (or never go outside). He doesn't like lotion either, but has very dry skin and eczema, so no choice. And we wonder about our kids??
Posted by: Silverdragon | 09/29/2011 at 05:51 PM
I developed a parenting 'theory' early on: You should only have as many kids as you are physically and emotionally capable of protecting from harmful UV rays.
Then, I had three kids. Oops. But I love them to bits, and torture them with sunscreen accordingly.
Amber, thank you for another brilliant post. LOVE YOUR BLOG!
Posted by: Sally Oakley | 09/29/2011 at 05:52 PM
For us the torture is saline solution (lots of allergies that once sent us to the ER with acute sinus infection, so I must use saline at the first sign of congestion). You could think I'm chopping him in small pieces with a butter knife by the sounds of it!
For sunscreen I opt for the spray on one. We live in TX so sunscreen is a must when playing outside, no matter the time of the year. I just chase him around with the spraying can. I'm sure I look hilarious. Oh well!
Posted by: Vero | 09/29/2011 at 05:52 PM
The screaming over face wiping has subsided for the moment since we now sing the clean up song. No idea why it works, but she loves it.
Posted by: Rin | 09/29/2011 at 05:53 PM
We had that issue, none of those worked. So, amazon.com saved my life. Look for Baby Comfy Nose, best $15 I have ever spent!
Posted by: Erin | 09/29/2011 at 05:53 PM
yes, hair washing is indeed torture.
Posted by: Mishka B | 09/29/2011 at 05:54 PM
This is actually a very common fear for children - it may be irrational, but it's very real. You might be better pulling the plug yourself - after he's out of the bath. If the plughole makes a sucking noise, that's even worse.
Posted by: Silverdragon | 09/29/2011 at 05:54 PM
My 13 month old hates the changing table. I cannot change her diaper without her trying to sit up. It's impossible to put a diaper on a sitting baby. I've resorted to letting her play with whatever I can grab while holding her...a bottle of fully secured teething tablets, a baby rectal thermometer (still in the package and therefore unused). Yes, I should plan ahead and have toys. One day, with all that extra time this working mother of two has :)
Posted by: Ruth | 09/29/2011 at 05:55 PM
my favorite part of this post is when you talk about all the different parenting methods . . . blah, blah, blah.
Posted by: Cindy | 09/29/2011 at 05:56 PM
Vero - thanks for the laugh! I'm visualising you running after your child spraying him. Here is Aus it's a bit the same - can't get away from that burning sun!
Posted by: Silverdragon | 09/29/2011 at 05:57 PM
Amber - thanks, once again, for your hilarious blog - I'm sure you are single-handedly keeping thousands of parents semi-sane! No pressure or anything, but you're doing an awesome job - keep it up!! :)
Posted by: Silverdragon | 09/29/2011 at 05:58 PM
Hairwashing!!!! My 3 year old is "allergic" to having water poured onto his head, and god forbid if he has to have a shower..... He will scream, kick and scratch to avoid having his hair washed. Except, when we were on holidays and the cabin only had a shower, he was miraculously cured of his allergy and LOVED the shower. We have returned home and the allergy has returned....
Posted by: Susan | 09/29/2011 at 05:58 PM
For my three year old daughter it's hair brushing, and eczema cream. For my one year old son it's diaper changes. You'd swear I was cutting off his leg.
Posted by: MamaCass | 09/29/2011 at 06:12 PM
Oh, we have the same problem with both of my sons. So sad that they don't like their birthday to come around because they know that the "well visit check-up" will be shortly after, often including vaccinations and flu shot. They work themselves into a tizzy every time. Within minutes after it's all over, they turn the tears off like a faucet. And I am drained for the week.
Posted by: Stacey | 09/29/2011 at 06:21 PM
I would have given up, bought the spray kind and sneak attacked with it. Does that make me a bad parent?
Posted by: Kristin | 09/29/2011 at 06:28 PM
I did this to my own mom when I was 5 & had to get shots fo kindergarten. I remember it vividly! As an expectant mother reading this post, I'm getting rather terrified of what's in store for me from my son.
Posted by: Jenn | 09/29/2011 at 06:28 PM
This is exactly why Mr. Rodgers used to sing "You can never go down, never go down, never go down the drain." It's not just your kid.
Posted by: Leslie | 09/29/2011 at 06:31 PM
Hee. My kids have had cream rubbed on them because of the dry mountain air from about a week onward. They LOVE the massage of mommy putting cream on them, whether it's sunscreen, or something pleasant. :)
Hmm. Any time they are expected to share me.
Posted by: Emily | 09/29/2011 at 06:38 PM
My little girl hates being wiped in anyway. Face wiping with cloth or sunscreen. Bottom wiping for poo nappy... The screams and tears or torture! Especially when she clenches her cheeks and thighs together, making it nearly impossible to get all the poo. Then the rashes come and a whole new wiping is required- rash cream :( *sigh* On the positive, I have switched to wash clothes and it is keeping things cleaner and she screams less ;)
Posted by: Melody | 09/29/2011 at 06:41 PM
I like it!
Posted by: Melody | 09/29/2011 at 06:42 PM
:)
Posted by: Pamela Susan | 09/29/2011 at 06:43 PM
Love. Awesome. We have torture pajamas at our house. Also torture shoes, torture clothes, torture breakfast, torture lunch, torture hair clips... It doesn't end over here. We are very midevil. I feel like that is spelled wrong. Anyway... Thanks for voicing it so perfectly.
Posted by: Erica | 09/29/2011 at 06:44 PM
Aha! I have a plausible ploy for sunscweam reapplication time! UV beads. The diabolical plan is to get Small to thread a bracelet.. they are white and change into whatever colour after UV exposure then return to white after. So when the beads are all pretty he gets to pop more cream on and I swop his bracelet for a fresh one. Wish me luck. This is still in the theory phase....
Posted by: Samantha | 09/29/2011 at 06:46 PM
my 10 month old hates it when I put her in her highchair to eat. I'm like, this is where you get food, what is wrong with that! It's not like I leave her in there for a long time or anything. She just throws a fit. Who knows.
Posted by: elin | 09/29/2011 at 06:50 PM
Hmmm... So many "tortures" to choose from with my 2 year old daughter. First and foremost is the clothes changing. When its time to put on our PJs it's me chasing her around the house until I FINALLY catch her then with the kicks to the face.. UGH but she wont get up til she has pants on (so funny) The morning comes and we have to do it all over again... So if you ever come to my house and wonder why shes still in her PJs... now you know!
Posted by: Nicole | 09/29/2011 at 06:52 PM
For our oldest it is tweezing splinters out (she is 6 almost 7 and she will try to get it out herself first now), clipping finger nails (now it is fun), oh, and brushing hair (she has THICK, CURLY hair, it is torture for both of us)! We had an episode that she was soooooo upset about having a splinter taken out that she screamed so much she threw up. Clipping finger nails was a huge deal too, I think we got to hyperventilating about clipping her nails. So far with our youngest is seems eating an actual meal is torture unless it is chicken nuggets, french fries or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Posted by: Shara | 09/29/2011 at 06:53 PM
My son refused to take his inhaler. I tried everything...bribing with chocolate chips, positive reinforcement, games, everything. It ended in a full blown tantrum with even more coughing - what the inhaler was supposed to stop in the first place! After fighting with the boy child for days, my husband tried and had the boy child pretend to be a tornado and guess what? He took his inhaler without an issue. Grrr.....
Posted by: Sara | 09/29/2011 at 06:54 PM
I don't have kids, but I distinctly remember hair washing as being torture day when I was a kid. I had LONG hair (down to my waist) as a little kid, which I couldn't take care of myself, so obviously mom had to help me wash and comb it.
The screams emanating from our house were clearly audible to our neighbors. One day, an older gentleman remarked to me mom, "WHAT were you doing to that poor child in there yesterday?" to which my mom replied exasperatedly, "Mel, I was washing her hair." He laughed and said, "I figured it was something like that."
Why she didn't just chop it all off, I will never know. My kids will have short hair until they can take care of it themselves!
Posted by: Andrea | 09/29/2011 at 06:54 PM
Band Aids.
Even when my 2 yr old is gushing blood from her knees she screams louder when the band aid is near. When its on her, she thinks she's paralyzed and wont move for about a half hour (an eternity for a toddler) I'm using this to my advantage and carry a pack of Band Aids in my purse for when we're out and she acts up. It works great! (and its hilarious to be scared of a band aid so I get some entertainment out of it :))
Posted by: C&KsMama | 09/29/2011 at 06:56 PM
ugh, yes!! my husband is a giant baby and refuses to use sunscreen or lotion of any kind. i'm pretty sure we'll get a skin cancer diagnosis for him in the next five years. sigh.
he does, however, suck it up to put sunscreen on our daughters. and every time he does it, he says, "this is how you know daddy loves you," as he cringes and squirts the first blob onto his fingers.
Posted by: Nikki Owens | 09/29/2011 at 06:58 PM
My daughter acts like she is being tortured when she has to do homework, EVERY DAY. And she acts like I am raking nails over her scalp when I brush her hair. She's almost 8 years old, by the way. It never gets better, the torture just changes. SIGH.
My 4 year old son thinks cleaning up his toys is torture.... until I tell him to pick up "x" number of toys in "x" amount of time.... then it becomes a game to him. He also thinks eating soup is torture, he acts like I have placed a bowl of worms and roaches in front of him every time I make soup, it doesn't matter what kind of soup it is..... oh well!
Posted by: Jacque | 09/29/2011 at 07:07 PM
For my 3 year old, it is toothbrushing and wiping his face. OMG, what torture. I am so nervous to take him to the dentist next week...
My 4 month old is happy to do everything still...except of course sleep. But that is par for the course, lol.
Posted by: Christina | 09/29/2011 at 07:08 PM
Great idea :)
Posted by: maggie | 09/29/2011 at 07:09 PM
Hair washing for my 7 year old son, owww owww stop it your hurting my head..... AS I am lathering the shampoo on his hair.... wow..... kids... haha
Posted by: maggie | 09/29/2011 at 07:10 PM
For my 1 year old it's cutting her nails. I routinely get clawed because she has daggers on her fingers, and that's when I decide I have to do it again. It is definitely some form of torture device. I have taken to bribery and TV.
Posted by: Natalie | 09/29/2011 at 07:21 PM
omg! snorting and sniggering at my desk again - I'm sure my colleagues can't imaging that accounting could be this funny!! I am indebted for life to my friend for introducing me to this blog - the only parenting blog worth reading.
We have had torture items over the years:
1. shoes on - aged 2 cont. till 3yrs
2. putting on a jacket
3. taking off jacket (seriously, 12 months after )
4. going to shops
5. leaving shops (about 6 months later)
6. My current favourite is to torture them with food. So funny makes dinnertime such a pleasant experience for everyone. I just RUN home to get the torture ready for them. Highlight of my day a;lkhequfgt - ooops slipped in all that sarcasm.
thanks for being so f-kn honest. Helps me get on with life.
Nic
Posted by: Nic | 09/29/2011 at 07:25 PM
Hair is a real one - my daughter now 9, seriously cries like I have slapped her silly with a rolling pin (I'm guessing cause i've never actually DONE that)
Apparently a very real thing, to do with sensory issues and a sensitive scalp - does she have really thick hair by any chance?
Posted by: Nic | 09/29/2011 at 07:27 PM
oh and re. sunscreen - I just mention enormous scar on grandpa's stomach where they removed a kidney and 2/3 of his liver due to melanoma (seriously) and they seem to be just fine. I guess they will see a therapist when they are older...
Posted by: Nic | 09/29/2011 at 07:31 PM
My kids are 5 and still do not understand the concept of blowing their noses. We have had many a tutorial on this in our house, and they still run screaming for the hills when they see a keenex coming their way.
Posted by: Monika | 09/29/2011 at 07:32 PM
The way my son protests sunscreen, you'd think I was trying to smear acid on his face. But apparently, he lets his preschool teachers do it with no fuss. So on school days, I don't even bother and let the teachers do it. When I actually have to do it, I wait until we get to the fun place (zoo, park, etc.), and then pull the sunscreen out. Of course he protests, then I say "You can either let me put sunscreen on or we can go home." And I close the door and head back to the driver's seat. I'm sure some day I'll have to make good on that threat, but so far, it's never taken him more than a few seconds to decide he'd rather put on sunscreen and go to the zoo than go home :-)
Posted by: sara | 09/29/2011 at 07:35 PM
Corrie, I had the same problem with my twins. One time an elderly store clerk actually knocked on the bathroom door to ask if "everything was okay" in there... THAT was an awesome day.
Posted by: Monika | 09/29/2011 at 07:35 PM
Oh my! "Insert useless parenting method here" effing hilarious! As a mum and daycare owner/teacher I found that priceless! Thanks for sharing:)
Posted by: Alison | 09/29/2011 at 07:37 PM
i cant get them to take their shoes off, littlest tries to wear them to bed. screams like im ripping his feet off when i try to remove them.
Posted by: lexa brinton | 09/29/2011 at 07:37 PM
Tell me all you want about the evils of spray sunscreen, but I'm still faster and the spray has a decent range.
Posted by: Karen | 09/29/2011 at 07:38 PM
We had this same issue. As soon as she was big enough to face forward, the screaming stopped. We think that maybe the backwards facing seat made her carsick.
Posted by: Kim Cady | 09/29/2011 at 07:42 PM
have you tried letting him type out his assignments? this is what my mom did for me ( wayyyy back before everyone had a computer luckily my dad is a nerd) and typing made homework go significantly faster
Posted by: phi | 09/29/2011 at 07:43 PM
For the past few days with my 22 month old son it has been naptime. Half hour, hour, two hours... no matter how long he is in his (completely dark) room, he will just cry. Bear in mind he's been taking 3 hr naps for the past year or so. I'm ready for this phase to be over... mommy needs naptime!
Posted by: chelsea | 09/29/2011 at 07:49 PM
Mine is only 4 months old and so far (fingers crossed) she's pretty happy. However, I have vivid memories of my little brother's chapstick avoidance. Every winter he'd get super chapped lips, to the point that they were cracked and bleeding, and he REFUSED chapstick. My mom tried all of the useless parenting methods too. She'd put it on while he was sleeping, and most of the time he would wake up and wipe it off on his pillow.
Posted by: prinji | 09/29/2011 at 07:55 PM
This is the first time I've seen your blog, and I seriously had to cover my mouth to keep from waking my kids after reading this. Thank you for the laugh!
Posted by: Brit | 09/29/2011 at 08:21 PM
Face wiping is also a traumatic event in our household. So what I do is... Take her over to the faucet and hold her over the sink. We wash hands under the running water and "splash" water up on her face. She LOVES it. Go figure. I certainly would prefer a moist cloth to the face - but she likes the splash fest.
Posted by: Liz | 09/29/2011 at 08:42 PM
I have 6 kids, and we go to the pool almost daily in the summer. I will forever bless the person who invented aerosol sunscreen.
Posted by: Cheryl | 09/29/2011 at 08:53 PM
My daughter hates hair cuts she is 7 now and when we go to the hair dresser she cries and screams the whole time. It hurts it hurts. The first time I took her to a new hair stylist when we moved I warned her but she was still not prepared. Needless to say we do not switch stylists at all don't want to traumatize them all. All the other clients in the shop look at them with weird looks and I'm just standing there going don't worry folks this is normals.
Posted by: Rebecca | 09/29/2011 at 08:54 PM
My son is 4 and acts this way when he gets a band aid. If one goes on his leg he can't walk. If it's on his arm he can't use that arm any more. Not sure what would happen if one was on his face. I think this is too funny. My daughter wanted a band aid for everything. She loved them
Posted by: Rebecca | 09/29/2011 at 08:59 PM
13 month old hates being shut out of the kitchen or put in the cot (screams and bangs her head on things, knocks on the wall)she's been settling herself since we stopped bfing months ago but all or a sudden seems to hate being trapped and wants to co sleep again but hubby won't be convinced after months of a,mostly, child free bed. 4 year old hates tidying up. He happily does it it kindy though (go figure) but seems to think it's my vocation to pick up after him at home. I've tried games, rewards, songs, praise but still he moans, cries and moves like a snail *sigh*
Posted by: Amy | 09/29/2011 at 09:07 PM
I love the sunscreen shaking in your post, like you get secret enjoyment from torturing him...Maybe you could have called it "torture cream"?
My 2.5 yo won't let me cut her toe nails. Fingers are fine. Actually, I can't get anywhere near her feet. She kicks and screams and so I just let it be. Sliver? Let's put a bandaid on it quick...Bent back long toe nail? Well, I'll manage to clip just that one, but it's a fight!
My 5 mon old is ok now but for about the first 3 months he would just scream when we put him in his carseat. And we live 10 min from town. SO glad that is over! He still won't sleep in the seat though when it's not in the (moving) car. Thank goodness for my baby carrier!
Posted by: Nerissa | 09/29/2011 at 09:07 PM