my friend Wendy

Warning: this post isn't funny. The sentence before this one is not a joke. I mean, there might be parts that are slightly funny but that is just pure luck. 

So I have this best friend and we'll call her Wendy. 

We'll call her Wendy because that is her real name. She said I could use it so we are good to go.

I wrote about her once before in my Boys Vs Girls post. 

We've been friends since before kids. Before marriage even. So basically forever.

I'll never forget the night we met. It was at a wine tasting that my boyfriend (now my husband) and I were hosting at our apartment. 

Our conversation went the usual way, "Blah, blah, what do you do?"

So she tells me she just up and quit her good job to go to culinary school. My reaction was along the lines of, "What? That is allowed?"  

I quit my shitty job about six months later to follow my own dreams. (Thank you, Wendy.)  

Culinary school! She liked cooking. I liked eating. "Hey, why don't we become friends?" So we did. It was settled.

We were friends, our boyfriends were friends. The four of us hung out often. Dinner parties. New Years. Grilling in the backyard. It was awesome. 

Then they got married!

After the wedding and reception, we went back to their hotel room at the winery to share a special bottle of port (because fortified wine is exactly what you need after a night of heavy drinking) with them. The guys were smoking cigars and chasing a bat that flew in through the open door.  Wendy and I kicked off our heels and layed on the couch, slurring our words. 

 

We did eventually leave them alone on their wedding night.

She was right though, he proposed and I got married six months later.

Then she got pregnant. And then so did I. Pregnant at the same time! 

But then I had a miscarriage. And that sucked.

She knew just what to say. She was the only one who understood. 

(Thank you, Wendy.)  

So she had a baby and I eventually got pregnant again.

She was the veteran. I relied on her to keep me sane.

Wendy reacts to my anxiety by reassuring me and making fun of me in equal parts. 

Which is exactly what I need 99% of the time.

The other 1% is when I need actual advice. She helped with that too. Like after I pushed a nine pound baby out of my hooha. I called her. 

She told me to take care of myself. To take as many sitz baths as possible, several a day. Drink water. Rest. "Take care of yourself and you'll be fine!" She was right. (Thank you, Wendy.)  

So she had a baby and then I had one. Then she had two. Then I had another one. It was great that we staggered them this way because we got to share stuff that you can't share with just anyone.

The only bummer was that one of us was either pregnant or nursing or both. For six years. So the binge drinking has been on pause for quite some time. We still pass out on the couch together, but from sleep deprivation instead of wine. 

Through these years I have shared with her my deepest, darkest. 

 
And she shines a light on them. (Thank you, Wendy.) 

I'm thankful that we've gotten to go on this parenting journey together.

And that we're still having fun.  

Getting our families together now creates an instant party!

Add her two golden retrievers in to the mix (and two cats that keep to themselves) and we officially have a zoo. A fun, chaotic, happy zoo. 

Zoo schedules can be hard to manage, so we often keep in touch via phone. 

One of us calls the other one...

Hours go by...

And we realize we haven't made dinner yet.

We've both admitted to not answering the phone when the other one calls, knowing several hours of conversation are in store. Not that we don't want to chat. Just that sometimes kids need to be fed or bathed or put to bed. Darn things.  

So the other day she calls. She asks me how I am and I blab on forever as usual. Then she says...

I sense her unease. And I fear the worst. The worst being that they are moving away. 

But it was actually much worst than that.

Much, much worse.

Fuck.

 

My best friend, Wendy, was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in March. You know, the worst kind. This means it is "treatable not curable" which means it isn't going away and there is an endless battle ahead of her. She has three young children. She is my age. You can read more of her story in her own words here on Girl Crush.

October is breast cancer awareness month. Did you know that? I didn't. But I'm very aware of breast cancer now so I don't need a month to remind me.

Did you know that one in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime? Do you know how many women are reading this? More than eight I figure. It could be any one of us. Any one of us. I'm guessing some of you are dealing with this right now, already. My heart goes out to you. 

Please, go feel yourself up. Please, go tell your friends to feel themselves up. Please make an appointment with your doctor if you haven't lately.  We have to take care of ourselves. Mothers suck ass at taking care of themselves. But you need to. And you deserve it. We all do.

 

 

------------

Wendy will not like this part of my post, but if you would like to make a donation in support of her and her family you can Paypal to [address removed] In case you didn't notice, her phone stayed the same in all the pictures above. She has this old ass phone that barely accepts texts. I would love to raise enough $ to buy her a new fancy smartphone. And any $ raised in excess of a smartphone fund she'll probably do something lame with, like buy groceries and pay medical bills. 

10/7 UPDATE - raised enough coin to get her a fancy schmancy phone! Thank you!!!

To make a donation for cancer research, I'll direct you to City of Hope. This is where Wendy is being treated. Thank you!!! 

Comments

[Laura]

*crying*

I don't know what to say, other than to offer my love, {hugs}, and all of my positive and supportive wishes.

How incredibly earth shattering.

Love. That's all I can offer. Love, to both of you, and your families. So, so much love.

[Melis]

Aw geez. I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say except I've got you all in my prayers. Hardcore. :-/

[Laura]

I am welling up. Close friend of mine also diagnosed with breast cancer recently and we hope it's curable.

[CoffeeJitters]

I'm so sorry. hugs to you and Wendy. She's lucky to have a friend like you.

[Chantelle]

Oh no!! Amber and Wendy, my heart goes out to you both. How devastating, I can't even begin to imagine. Please keep us updated on her, Amber.

[Amber]

Praying for your friend and all of the women fighting the fight. Viva la boobies!

[Kelly Wankmueller]

Ugh. Crying at work. I still love the post. <3

[Eve]

Immediately started to cry.

My heart goes out to Wendy, and you and everyone involved.

:(

[valleygirl]

She is so lucky to go through this with a friend like you. <3 Thanks for your post and honesty. xoxo

[Roxane]

I'm so sorry for your friend. My mother had breast cancer three years ago, she's fine now. She had her last round of chemo two weeks before my wedding. It was a rough time. Very best wishes to Wendy and her family during these hard times.

[Brittnye]

You're awesome.

[Pamela Susan]

Oh, Amber... I am so,so very sorry. Cancer plain sucks. I hate it. I hate that it can strike anyone at any given time. Currentl my 20 month old niece is battling it right now. Stage 4. And she is doing so much better than what doctors expected. Miracles can happen. Hugs to you. Hugs to Wendy. I'm off to donate some $ right now.

[Renee]

Thank you so much for sharing this, send Wendy my best, I hope you can get her that phone. I sent a donation!

[Cyndi Marcell Whitworth]

In tears! How horrible for your friend and her family! How wonderful that she has a friend like you ♥ I will be praying for her and her family as well as you all. Many hugs!!

[Rebecca]

:*(

My prayers are including her <3

[Tammy W]

Wow. Sorry. I am a survivor of Stage 2 breast cancer, i had it five years ago while pregnant with my fifth. You can read my story on my blog. BUT... I would just like to say, my mom is a 14 year survivor of two types of Stage 4 Breast Cancer!!! Yes, it was a long hard fight and she has heart problems because of the extended chemo (6 months) and radiation (6 months also). It was all the way down her arm and in all of her lymph-nodes. She is still here!! Yes, she is. They truly have come a very long way in Cancer treatment. She needs to have faith. A positive outlook is indeed her only healing hope. Sheesh I just wanna keep going on an on but I won't. Seriously, it ain't over until it's over!!!!! Fight! Fight! Fight!

[Tamara]

My heart goes out to Wendy, her family, you, and everyone else who loves her. I love your tribute to your friendship--I think so many of us can see our best friends in this post. I will be praying for her treatment to be successful, and that God will give comfort and even joy through the times ahead! Miracles happen, and I'm praying for one for Wendy!

[Angel]

:( So sorry to hear about this happening to your best friend and you too. :( Please keep us posted and we'll be ready to laugh and cry along with you.

[amelia]

I don't even know what to say. I'm just sitting here crying. And I'm going to call my best friend and tell her I love her.

[Amy]

Thanks for this post. So many woman think they are " to young" to get breast cancer.It runs in my family and at the ripe age of 22 I had a mammogram ( 2 doc's in 2 states said I had to). I am lucky so far nothing, my cousin was not so lucky..twice. She was 22 & 24 when she had it, & I remember thinking how strong she was with 2 boys under the age of 7 & dealing with this. I know what you are fixing to go thru with Wendy. I went & chop all my hair off with my cousin, I was there when she haved her head(about 5 days after she started Chemo, becasue it hurt falling out), I was with her at the hosp. when her blood count was low.
Be strong & sometimes be strong for Wendy! If there is anything I can give advice on let me know ( no I'm not an expert but a thing or 2 lol).

[Lisa Allen]

This hit home.

Thank you for posting this.

http://lisarallen.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-hospital-memories.html?zx=8eb49d928c2e973c

[K]

I had lunch with my two best girlfriends today. We've been friends since we were 11 (we are 27 now). Two of us have kids, the third is currently pregnant. Thank you for this reminder of how precious they are.

I'm so sorry you, Wendy and everyone else in your lives are having to go through this. I would donate if I could, but I suspect my sons would grumble at the lack of food next week if I did.

[Mel]

My thoughts are with Wendy.
Never give up hope. Everything is possible..

I truly believe that.

[Ginette]

My thoughts will be with all of you--especially Wendy and her family.

[katexas]

Thank you for making this real and not just making this pink.

I contributed $ on paypal today to a friend who's going through colon cancer, we're trying to get her enough to send her to see a play on broadway (her request).

[Misty]

I don't know you, and I don't know Wendy, but all these kilometres away I am feeling my heart breaking for you. Virtual hugs, and thank you for posting about something so intimate and educational - we all need to remember to get out there and get checked. And those of us struggling with cancer need to know we're not alone. Thank you.

[I Thought I Knew Mama]

How heartbreaking! Cancer sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh. I'll be thinking of Wendy - and of you. I can't imagine.

[Jodi]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about Wendy. So so sorry. Cancer has reared its ugly head many times in my family and I don't know one person who hasn't been affected by it. She's very fortunate to count you as a friend and I know you're equally as fortunate to count her as your nearest and dearest. Thank you for sharing this story as I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you. You have brought awareness to an issue that is so often in the media, I worry that we sometimes tend to think "yeah yeah, pink ribbon, I know". Stories like yours help to snap us complacent people back into reality, because sadly this IS the reality for far too many women. Again, thank you for sharing.

[Lisa]

I don't know either of you in real life, but all I want to do is hug both of you and say "Oh, honey..."

[Susan Gillen]

It's a shitty diagnosis and an even shittier call to make. I was diagnosed 5 years ago (I was 34 and my son was 17 month old) and I still remember how hard it was to pick up the phone and call my sister. It sounds like you are a wonderful friend to her and keep on just being there when she needs you. It's a rough road ahead but she can and will get through this.

Wendy might want to check out the Young Survivor's Coalition, there is a great community of women there she can lean on.

Stage 4 is lousy but many women have lived at that stage for a long long time. I hope for the best for Wendy.

[LaRhonda]

My prayers are with her and her family. Maybe something to research about if you want, I found a post that within the last few months they have discovered a virus that kills ALL breast cancer cells. I'm sure it will be a while before human trials will take place, but maybe keep an eye on it.

[Atina King]

I just wanted to comment that I, like so many other women, know what it feels like to be the friend or relative of someone who has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer. My grandmother was diagnosed almost 3 years ago with Stage 4. Today, she is happy, healthy, and cancer FREE! There is hope. Wendy can beat this! And you will be there to support her along the way. Good luck to you both on your journey!

[Catrina Dodson]

With tears in my eyes I can only imagine the heartache that comes to everyone who knows Wendy. Thank you for writing a very real blog today. Thank you for sharing your life and friends with me. I wish Wendy and her family the best, and pray for strength for everyone that is going to go on this journey with Wendy.

Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. ~Emory Austin

[sarah]

I just found out I have breast cancer...stage 2...the hardest part about it is that we moved 5 hours away from any if my friends about a month before my diagnosis. I'm 34 with 3 kids. I'm glad Wendy has you.

[Holly]

My heart is breaking for you all. No one deserves to have to go through this. :(

[Maggie Colletti]

This one made me cry. I lost my childhood best friend, my Nana (my mother's mother) to breast cancer at 12. I don't know what stage, because I was too young to understand it at the time. But they have advanced so much in treatments since then. I'm sending well wishes to Wendy and you.

[Leslie Twining]

I have read every single one of your posts, and this is the first one I am commenting on. I have tears in your eyes. You have such a wonderful friend and I feel terrible for you and for her family. I hope she can beat it

[Jenna Mayfield]

I know this will make me sound crazy but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE look into HIGH PH therapy for Wendy!!! It is not used simply because it does not make the pharmaceutical companies ANY MONEY. If she is stage IV there is NOTHING TO LOSE!!!

http://www.cancercoverup.com/fighters/cesium_a.html
MORE INFORMATION IN THE LINK ABOVE!

I hope you look and Wendy gets well :(

[Erin]

This road is even harder than you think and i wish her family and yours the best of luck. Luck won't really do anything but love most definitely will. Your friendship will be the most important thing in both of your lives. My best friend's 4 year old son is battling leukemia. I have never seen a stronger perron in my life. He is fighting for hid life and still spends tons of his energy on making sure we feel good. You will probably come to admire your friend like never before. Just remember that sometimes, just sitting and crying with her will do wonders for both of your spirits and then you can both sit back and laugh at yourselves for being big babies. Never ever give up on the hope of being cured. Bigger miracles have happened.

[diane]

a huge I'M SORRY and((HUGS)) for you both ... it's all I've got :(

[RedinNC]

I'm so sorry about this. How lucky you are to have such a great friend. I hope she's able to fight the good fight. Praying for her family.

[AshleyC]

i am so sorry... my heart is breaking for her, her family, and you, her best friend. please know that there are SO many prayers going out for her. ill definitely try to make a donation.

[Danae Cervantes]

So sorry for both of you (((hugs))). This is probably the first of your blog posts I have ever commented on and it is so heartbreaking to hear what she is going through. I don't have any extra monies to give but I am a WAHM, can I make her something like a blanket that she can take with her through therapies and such?

[Sheryl Mellor]

Thanks for having the courage to share this. Wendy and her family and friends are in our thoughts and prayers.

[Jenna Mayfield]

SARAH!

http://www.cancercoverup.com/fighters/cesium-science.htm

PLEASE READ

[Stephanie]

I am so sorry to hear about your friend Wendy. Yours is the kind of friendship I dreamed about having when I was young - someone you've known forever, you get married together, have kids together, and voila! Instant extended family. Unfortunately, I have not been lucky enough to secure a friend like this. You guys are very lucky to have each other. I will be thinking of her. (And I send $5 for her to get a new phone!)

[Marlene]

Oh my gosh. I was fearing an ending like this throughout the whole post, but REALLY, REALLY hoping that's not where it was leading. So, so sorry. I'll be praying for her, and for you, too. I can't imagine what a mess I'd be if my best friend were to go through something like this. Man, I am sorry. :(

[Jo]

I'm so sorry. You're right, so many of us have to go through this. I lost my mother. I'm sorry it's your friend. She sounds wonderful, as does your friendship. I'm glad her kids have you in their lives.

[Marisa and Creative Thursday]

sending so much love to you and Wendy

[Misty]

So sorry to hear this! Love your tribute to your bestie though. My prayers are with you both and your precious families. <3

[J. Lee]

:( I hope Wendy can beat this! My mother had the 2 weeks left to live when the doctors found out she had terminal cancer. 13 years later, with lots of prayers and faith, she's alive. Praying for Wendy!

[jen]

You are so brave to post this.
You are making a difference and spreading the word!
Thank you.
Lost my friend Sarah 2 years ago... she left a brand new baby behind and I will never be the same.
I admire you for turning your situation into ACTION that can help so many others.
:o)
Cheers

[Chibi Jeebs]

OMG! I'm so sorry. :( Sending love and prayers to ALL of you (and your zoos). <3

[Tarina]

I know this is always a shock to find out. Feelings of helplessness, feelings of anger, sadness... Just remember one thing. She isnt gone. She is still very much here, and sounds like she will be fighting with everything she has! She is young, and has much to live for. And with friends like you, there is nothing she can't do!! I dont really pray often, but I will send one up for her today. I wish I had the money to spare to help with the smart phone lol but my husband just had to replace 2 pairs of glasses on our dime, so I dont even think I could scrounge up enough to buy a damn bagel. Good luck to her, and to you because this will be your journey as well.

[Debbie Voss]

One of the funniest and saddest posts of all time. I am hoping your friend will find the help she needs to beat this. Have her look up Dr. Burzynski in Texas.

[Lady Estrogen]

I laughed and cried.
x

[HomemadeMother]

I am so sorry your lovely friend is sick. Sending lots of prayers and love, from one mother to another.

How wonderful that she has you for a friend. I'm sure you perk up any bad day. True friends are the ones who stick around in good times and bad.

My best friend and I have a similar story - she's always just a few months ahead of me, so we have so much in common. I know we would be there for each other, too.

[Amanda]

Just when I think our lives can't be more similar you pull a best friend with cancer out of the bag . . . seriously though, I am so sorry that to hear this news. I am sending good vibes and positive thoughts out into the universe tonight in hopes of a miracle. Love and hugs to you both.

[Corinna]

Jenna Mayfield has the right idea! My husband and I have looked into many different things the last couple years to support a healthy body. And in this search we came across information on people fighting cancer with liquid vitamin C! Given intravenously, it creates an inhospitable environment for cancer cells but keeps your cells healthy! There are so many better alternatives to fighting cancer that our system isn't going to tell about because they just aren't money makers. It's so sad and horrible that this is the case. When there are so many wonderful and loved people that need it! God bless Wendy and her family and bless you for being such a wonderful friend. Also Gershon clinics have some amazing outcomes. I've already told my husband that these are the steps I want taken if ever we find out I have
cancer. And he agrees. Our bodies are amazing things and given the proper nutrition and environment they CAN heal! Many prayers of healing and strength. <3

[Sarah P]

Wow. That hit me like a train, as I'm sure it did Wendy & you. Wow. Not sure what else to say. I'll pray for Wendy & her family & you & your family, and all the other people that love her & are affected by this. Thank God she has you; good friends are so important.

[KTJ]

My husband was recently diagnosed with Stage IV Lymphoma, a shocking & unexpected diagnosis as he had no symptoms. We have 2 kids under 4. Ten years ago it would've been terminal, but treatment has come so far... After just four months of chemo we've just been told he is in remission (his cancer unfortunately is not curable either)...amazing drugs! We found professional counseling by a cancer psychologist hugely beneficial, & while the inevitable dark thought & fears are ever present, always believing he'd beat it has i think made such an impact on his treatment (don't know who said it, but "think & so you shall become"). Good luck. X

[deeda]

As a mom, I can't imagine anything worse. I'm sorry for her and for you because I'm sure you love her and her family.

Sending healing vibes (and a donation).

[Heather]

Praying.

[Lisa]

laughed and laughed and then... still trying to wipe the tears from my face. I have a best friend and I love her so very much. So I'm going to go donate now for Wendy and pray for her and her family and for you.

[Pam]

I'm so sorry. Sending a little something now. xoxo
You make me laugh until I cry. Wendy is lucky to have someone like you in her life.

[Audreyanna]

Prayers and thoughts go with everyone touched by this event. <3

[Nicole MacRae]

My heart and thoughts go out to Wendy! Booked my appointment, and just sent out a mass message to "my girls" to get checked!

[Chelsie]

My best friend and I are much the same, except that she is single and childless.. But, we have the same relationship. I can't imagine getting that kind of news from her.. Or having to tell her that I have cancer. My heart sank when I read that. I can see either one of us chatting at length like everything is all good before getting to the bad news. I do self breast exams, probably more than necessary because I can't keep track of when I last did one, and I wish all women would get on board with this.
Thoughts with you, Wendy, and both your families.

[Silverdragon]

So sad - I'm sorry Amber and Wendy!! I can't imagine hearing that from my best friend. Devastating. :(

[Cate]

Agreed with the above so much, I'll just repeat it:
Seriously, it ain't over until it's over!!!!! Fight! Fight! Fight!

[Victoria]

We all just waltz in and out of life so cavalierly and get focused on the crappy, funny, beautifully brilliant stuff that happens every single day. Then, when you get bonked up side the head with the unthinkable...well, once you get past the paralysis and then the inevitable hyperventilating...you actually do manage to resurrect what's left. And that's a lot. I think this calls for at least one episode of binge-drinking; maybe even binge-eating (may I suggest something pie-related), and afterward, when you've mopped up all the tears and the pee from the inappropriate laughter...just try to breathe into every single moment the joy that you felt before you realized that you are really and truly mortal. This applies to every one of us, by the way. And catch my hugs and feel my prayers as I love you both from right here in my heart.

[heather]

:'(',',',',', so sorry

[vanessa]

Oh gosh, how terrible. My thoughts are with Wendy and her family and I hope her treatments all work out. My mom's BFF was diagnosed with Stage 4 about 20 years ago and her 16 year old now babysits my 6 month old. I know I don't have to tell you not to give up hope, but hopefully Wendy's story will work out as well as my mom's friend.

[Amber Dusick]

Victoria, that was beautiful. Crying.

[Kenzi]

My bestfriend died of breast cancer exactly 4 years ago last month. We did those same things--college, roommates, weddings, babies (we had our children TWO WEEKS apart), she was diagnosed when they were 3 months and I pumped breastmilk for her baby. ANYWAY, my only advise is to please, please, please tell Wendy to seek alternative treatments. My bestfriend underwent all of the treatments--the most aggressive offered so her life could be saved and she could watch her three, young children grow up (she was 30 when diagnosed--the kids were 3 months, 4 and 6). And she still died. But one of the worst parts about it was that she spent the last two years of her life in bed, sick most of the time, missing out--it was like she died the first time the chemo and radiation hit her body...I know it has to be scary, and I can only HOPE I have the courage to do this, but my own father cured himself of bladder cancer two years ago using alternative methods--he didn't ravage his body w/ chemicals and toxins, and he never felt better in his life. I don't even think my bestfriend would've considered it, but maybe Wendy can. Please keep us updated, and I will follow her blog. I am so sorry...

[Gabrielle]

I am so sorry to hear about your friend, Wendy. I'm sure she's glad she has a friend like you to support her and just be there for her. I know someone who was/is being treated at City of Hope for breast cancer and she's in remission now, beating it to be there for her daughter. I' m wishing Wendy the same good fortune and strength.

[Stacy]

I don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said except "CANCER FUCKING SUCKS!" God bless Wendy in her fight.

[Katie]

God bless your friend and her family!

[Mandy]

My friend Amber, I'm sending Love and Light

[Gemma Ray]

Laughed, giggled, snorted, laughed... then cried.
God bless Wendy, and god bless you for posting this and reminding us Mothers that, yes, we do need to look after ourselves.
Sending you love xxx

[lena nunn]

praying for you both. I just paypaled you. She may not like it but my friend always sends me money when I need it and we joke and call it pay a pal. its not much but its one step closer to a rockin phone!!!

[Jen]

I'm so sorry for your friend Wendy. I pray she gets much needed time to spend with her family. I also want to say I'm sorry to you for your pregnancy loss. Did you know October is also Pregnancy and Infant loss Awareness month? (President Reagan declared it in 1988) It get's over shadowed by Breast Cancer Awareness but both are equally important. (I thankfully have not had breast cancer but know others who have, however I have lost 15 babies to miscarriage and one to stillbirth). 1 in 4 women will lose a pregnancy, deliver a stillborn baby or lose their child in infancy. ((HUGS)) to both of you.

[Emily]

I remember growing up, my mom had a friend which, if they got to talking on the phone, that meant cereal or sandwiches (whatever you wanted to make yourself) for dinner. I never resented her for it, it taught me how wonderful friends can be. Don't ever beat yourself up about that, your kids are learning good things from you being so close to someone like that. :)

God bless you and Wendy, and her children. I hope things work out and that it's a very long battle with more wins on her side than anything else. Or even better, that she'll win the war when they figure out a way to cure it.

[Karen]

Sobbing, b/c one of my best friends has stage 4 breast cancer too.

[Marie]

So many other people have said this so much better than I'm going to - but thank you for sharing this struggle with us. Wendy (and her family and yours) will be in my prayers.

[Ashley Swango]

Cancer is a bitch :( Prayers to your friend that she can beat it, and comfort and strength to her friends and family who are suffering right along with her. You guys are lucky to have each other as friends!!! <3

[AllInspiredUK]

Your post has made me cry, I feel for your friend and her family and friends.

I am currently waiting for an appointment as I've found a large lump in my breast, and all I can think about are my children (same age as yours). It upsets me so much that this is something destroying families.

Wendy needs to think positively, there are so many success stories. I wish her all the luck and prayers.

[Natalie]

Oh my gosh. :( Terrible. My thoughts are with Wendy and her family.

[Claire Haslam]

What amazing friends you both are. My MIL is going through treatment at the moment. There is a lot of love and support on this forum http://my.crazysexylife.com/ Really, please do check it out. There are a lot of experienced kick ass cancer fighting warriors there.

[Becky Lipp]

I am literally waiting for my sister to get back from her appointment to let me know whether her tumor is benign or not as I read your post. I actually don't know what I would do without her. She was the one who put me onto your fab site. She has started a blog about it called 'Get to know your boobs' ... http://cearas-little-things.blogspot.com/2011/09/get-to-know-your-boobs.html
What ever happens today I am sure she is going to write about it too. I love her to bits!!! I hope it is benign!!!

[Elizabeth W.]

I am so sorry for your pain and your friends'. I was diagnosed at age 27 when baby #3 was 4 months old. She saved my life. Surgery took care of it but, it will come back. I enjoy every day that I have. I pray that your friend will live to see all her hopes and dreams for her children come to pass. >

[Katy]

<3

I can imagine how scary and overwhelming this must feel for you. My mother was diagnosed 13 years ago (I was fifteen). Surgery and radiation and 2 recurrences later, she's still kickin'.

This is not an easy road to take, but if one of you had to take it, I'm glad you've got each other to lean on. I hope Wendy can be like my mom - defying the odds and living forever.

Much love, ladies. <3

[Amanda]

My mom had a mammogram yesterday and was told it was 50/50 whether or not it was cancer. She is having a repeat mammo and an ultrasound tomorrow. hug your besties and your family. tight.

[Gina]

So sad for everyone! I just wanted you both to know that my dad had lung cancer and just about everything else that could kill a person BUT NOT HIM!!!! He survived it all with a great attitude (not all the time) and family support and just pure luck and great genes! So surviving the unsurvivable can happen! Somebody has to be in the minority percentages or there wouldn't be any! We are all pulling (and praying) for Wendy and her family and your family! That just totally sucks but you are lucky to have each other! You will need each other!

[AnotherFatPrincess]

I don't know if it means anything at all to know that strangers, on the internet, in another country, are crying for you. Or if our well wishes really make a difference, but I'm keeping you both in my thoughts anyway.
*Hugs* to all of you.

[Andrea]

I'm so sorry. I have never posted before but it is so important to bring awareness to everyone so I wanted to thank you for sharing. Please look into The Gerson Therapy. It's alternative treatment for cancer.

[Sharlene Jones]

Amber - Thank you so much for this post. You are right about moms (and other non-mom women) not taking care ourselves. I see it every day and it amazes me every time. I currently work for an organization that helps uninsured women pay for their annual exams (including breast exam, pap smear and mammogram among other things). We are working to end breast cancer so that you will never need to make another post like this one again. In case you know of anyone who lives in NY and needs help paying for their annual exams, please refer them to to the NYSDOH Cancer Services Program. It is statewide and their for anyone who does not have insurance. Let's work on getting EVERY woman screened before they end up in Wendy's position.

[Aubrey]

Thank you for sharing this story. There is so much power to staying present, even when faced with the depths of life's challenges. I know a story like this one too (with my sister-in-law), and I am so glad that you are bringing a truth and an awareness to it.
May Wendy and her family find peace and joy during this journey. May she know strength and vivacity, and the love that we all have for her now. Healing happens in so many ways...prayers are with all of you.

[Megan]

The cremation in the sun
Implies that life and death are one
I wonder what would be the same
If I gave death another name

You know what you do? You go somewhere, just the two of you. (Guess what Daddy, you get a whole day of fun out with the kids!) Then you get a big a$$ bottle of wine, and you sit down on the couch, and you talk about it.
And you Laugh about it. And you Cry about it. (Capital letters implied! You need to Laugh, not just laugh) Think up silly songs to play at the service (Celebrate good times; Kylie Minogue. This Monkey's Gone to Heaven by the Pixies). You laugh and talk and cry some more. Call it something else ("I'd be a lot less afraid of it if I just knew what it was called". "Let's call it Steve")
And you own it.
And you accept it.
And then you put it in a box. And you put the lid on tight.
And you put that box far away

And then you fight.

You fight like you've never fought before.
You fight with everything you have and when you have nothing left you keep fighting.
And you never, ever, not for one single second, ever stop believing that you'll never need that box.

Much love and hugs

[Lucy]

Ah. This story gave me chills and tears. Thank you for spreading awareness. I do not wear underwire bras OR deodorant (maybe the natural kind if i'm especially stinky) or use beauty products containing parabens as all of these increase your risk of breast cancer. My mom is a breast cancer survivor, so I take as many precautions as I can.

Praying for Wendy and all the others out there.