shopping at Target®

We go to Target® sometimes.   

I have a friend who goes there all the time. Her son thought up a dragon toy that had wheels for feet and breathed ice cream instead of fire. He said you could ride it like a bike. He also said he wanted one for his birthday. When his mom explained that it didn't really exist he suggested she look for one at Target®. (They probably do have this. If not, their merchandising team has make a mistake because this thing sounds wicked cool.)

 Anyway, this is what happens when I go there...

First of all, my local store has these monstrous kid carts. My kids LOVE these carts because they both fit. These things are huge. It is a regular cart with an additional two-seater thing bolted on. I think it makes the cart like 34 feet long. I feel so ridiculous trying to maneuver around the aisles that I wind up laughing almost the entire time we are there. (Well played, Target®.) 

So anyway, we arrive and I announce that we just need one little thing. This is to both let the kids know we won't be there long and also as a reminder to myself. 

But as we walk through the doors, something happens:

That is not a bulls-eye. That is a hypnotic-eye.

Because moments later:

I'm walking back to the car with an overflowing cart.

I have no idea what just happened.

And I'm pretty sure I forgot to buy the one thing I went in there for.

 

---------------

No, Target® didn't pay me to write this. So now they owe me. Make that ice cream breathing dragon thing happen and we'll call it even. Actually don't, that sounds super messy and I don't want it in my house. 

Also, supporting mom & pop businesses and buying local and buying used is really super awesome and highly superior to shopping at big box stores. We know. But that hypnotic red eye beckons and I cannot break the spell.

Plus, buying toothbrushes used is super gross. Which is what I was going in there for. And I haven't found a local toothbrush crafter and if I did I probably couldn't afford it. And the natural hair ones at Whole Foods smell like ass. Something about scrubbing my teeth with animal hair squicks me out.

Forget it. I'll just stop brushing my teeth. It will save water. Sigh. Eco-guilt.

     

Comments

[jillsmo]

OMG! LMAO!!!!!

[Janelle]

I can totally relate.

[Rebekah]

BAHAHAHA! My partner has offically banned me from shopping a Target without him for this very specific reason!

[Ypsi]

At my favorite parenting board (Sybermoms, where you'd fit right in if you maybe aren't there already :paranoia:), we have a game called "Target". You post a list of random things that you bought at Target and everyone has to guess what you originally needed to go in there for. Winner gets a can of tuna. Or they would if it weren't only a message board.

MY theory about Target is they have some kind of sensor that automatically deducts or charges around $100 to your debit or credit card (I used to say $50 but prices have gone up) whenever you walk in, regardless of needs, wants, or finances.

Keep on blogging. You are funny as hell.

[Melissa Gallagher]

DYING. So funny.

[A Facebook User]

hahahaha. I call those the Cadillac Carts. My kids love them as well...until the straps don't come unbuckled when we get to the car. That's pretty entertaining as well though.

[NycSuZiQ]

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS TO ME TOO!
I KNOW WE ARE NOT ALONE.

-SUZIQ

[A Facebook User]

My Life--and I don't even have children.

[shelli]

I am really laughing out loud because I know what you mean. As much as I would prefer buying local, etc., we just can't afford it, and it is much easier to take the kids to one store with a big cart that can contain them. I learned while shopping there last time that at least one child (I have two) needs to be contained inside the cart or they'll both start running amok and the Target security guards will soon be after us.

[Karianna@CaffeinatedCatholicMama]

My girls love those semi-truck carts too! IDK if your Target is like the one in Pasadena where the aisles are so narrow that a regular cart hardly fits through, let alone the extra wide dbl child seat. The $1 section sucks me in. "Ooh, only $1!" then $20 later....

[melissa]

Hahaha awesome! I love and am fully addicted to Target as well! I must have a WRITTEN list to go in there, or I won't make it out with anything I need.

Also, before children, I used to 'browse' and 'try on' and 'shop around'. Now...IN OUT DONE to avoid excessive whining.

[Heidi]

Hahahahaha :D
I always wondered why that happened when I walked in!! Maybe there are special glasses I could wear.
One of our financial goals for the year was try not to step foot in Target, knowing full well what happens when we get there. I did sooooo good until the tax return hit and all those things we've been waiting to buy piled up and fell into my cart :D

[Jenny]

Give this a shot - they ship internationally from Australia now. We use and love them!

http://environmentaltoothbrush.com.au/

PS. I get sucked into Target all the time. I love how there are always random discounts when you get to the checkout.

[Audreyanna]

I really do need curtains!!!! Lol <3

[Robyn]

HIL-AR-IOUS!!! Happens to the best of us! LOL!

[Shannon Green]

Lol, same thing happens to me when I go to Ikea, too!

[casey]

I both love and hate that you have to have disclaimers at the end of your posts. Hate that people may give you a hard time about things, but love that your disclaimers are just as hilarious as the rest of your post! Once again - spot on. Target sucks me in (and my 3 year old) and we often cannot get of the door without spending $100. *sigh*

[Moira]

I wish I lived in a state with Target....but let me tell you when I go visit my mom in her state, it doesn't matter if I'm there less than 24 hours you bet a trip to Target is in the plans!

[abbeybaker9@roadrunner.com]

Target is the suburban equivalent to Las Vegas.... there are no clock and I swear they must pump oxygen in there! You literally can't leave without spending less than $100!

[BreeZee]

I have a love/hate relationship with Target. I love their kids clothes, maternity clothes, and well EVERYTHING. But I never leave with under a $100 worth of things I didn't go in their to buy. I only let myself go once a month. But then I convince myself that I must buy everything I see cuz I won't be back for a month! So that plan backfired...need a new plan!

[Anisa]

Yes!!! This. Yes.

[Sarah]

I laughed at your notes as much as the actual entry. :) I tried to avoid Target because they made me mad over their stupid return policy once. I made it about 6 months.

Also, true story: we were redoing our bathroom and using simple white subway tile. There is a local business that makes their own tile, and it's around 60% recycled. Tile from Home Depot: $1.88/sq. ft. Tile from local eco-friendly place: $18.00/sq. ft. I want to shop locally and be eco-friendly, but really????

[Leah Atwood]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOVED this! Exactly why I don't shop at Target. Ever. That Hypnotic eye does not exist at the store that carries the same stuff only cheaper...instead there is a cheerful little yellow smily face everywhere I look that I am convinced will start crying if I put something back ont he shelf. I don't want to make the smily face cry.

[Kate Giacomini]

I love your blog. Not only are you totally relatable, ALWAYS makes me smile. Thanks.

Kate
www.justdelivered.net

[Kate Giacomini]

IT always makes me smile. It.

[SarahP]

Sigh so true! I also did the megacart once, and giggled to myself through the entire store as I (accidentally) crashed into every display there was. It was kinda like revenge for making me spend $100+ every time I go there for one or two things.

[Gab]

YES! The best part, for me: my Target NEVER has the electric-toothbursh heads I need in stock = frequent return trips to check! I'm convinced they do this on purpose.

[Nikki]

*sigh* ain't it the truth?

[Tricia]

Hilarious!! Happened to me last week. Went in for one thing and came out with curtains, towels, washcloths, etc. (My son got ahold of scissors and thought it would be fun to cut the curtains, so technically, curtains were needed....)

[Emily M]

This is so true! They are evil, I tell you, just like Twizzlers and halloween oreos.

I just about died laughing at your disclaimer. haha

[Pumpkinette]

Is Target like Ikea? We don't have them here - sounds like Ikea type shop to me. I always come back from there with lots of random stuff I didn't really need.

[kate]

we all fall victim to THE EYE! but your disclaimer cracked me up! i have similar conversations with myself all the time!

i am sure there are other ways to be ecofriendly, but i haven't had time to look them up. i am all excited i use some sort of organic whatever toothpaste. it's green and tastes weird, it HAS to be good for the environment!

[Izzy]

Being in the Twin Cities, I always pretend that shopping at Target IS shopping local since I pass by 4 of their headquarter buildings on a daily basis- I know, I know, but I'm happily delusional(not to mention I have, no joke and not exaggerating, 10 Targets in a 5 mile radius of my house). As you say that Red Bullseye is really a hypnotic device in disguise! Every time I walk out of that store, I say, "how in the hell did I just spend triple digits when all I needed was milk, bread, and bananas."

[Brandy P]

I have the same problem with wal-mart. It's the smiley face. I go in for toilet paper and come out with a full cart. It's physically impossible to spend less than $100 when I go to wal-mart.

[AJ Landrigan]

It's the dollar bin right as you walk in that gets me! =-/ LMBO

[kimmie]

Having the Target Redcard credit card is a big mistake. Before, I'd only buy stuff if it was on sale, but now I counter it with "but I get 5% off every purchase!!!!!" and free shipping on all Target.com orders is dangerous too.

[Melanie]

hahaha - exact scenario happened to me yesterday! went in for baby food packets, came out with everything else BUT baby food packets. And you know you spent too much when the cashier gets that glimmer in their eye to up-sell you for their RED card. When I realized I forgot what I went there for- I already had the kids strapped into their car seats and I didn't want to un-pack my kids just to drag them back into Target just for baby food packets (even though that was my intention in the first place) *sigh*

[NSmeds]

HAHA so funny, as i read this i was recalling my target trip yesterday and how i left spending $50 and went it for baby wipes...those were some expensive wipes!!

[Evelyn]

haha so true. I love target, but it is dangerous going in there. Too much good stuff.

[Mom2trplts]

Oh.. this is so appropriate to read today because I WAS THERE and I needed SOCKS but instead I bought a bunch of other stuff too. I dubbed it on my FB as Really Skinny Women Shopping at Target Day, and wondered why there weren't warning signs to the effect. I mean, seriously, how do you push a cart in 6" heels like that, let alone breath in those jeans?

[Cheerful Homemaker]

Menards' kiddie cart has a green truck bolted to the front. I pushed my 4 year old nephew around in it one day while he yelled 'GO RIGHT... GO LEFT.... WRONG LEFT... WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME?' It was humiliating.

[Tragic Sandwich]

I try not to go to Target. Because even if all I need is toilet bowl cleaner, somehow I walk out of there with $60 worth of stuff.

[Meggin D]

Again. Make me wet my pants. :)

Those freakin huge carts at at Home Depot too. And no Target in Canada (yet) so I've never been there. But I'm looking forward to it!!!

[Amber Dusick]

I didn't know you get 5% off each purchase nor did I know about the free shipping. Crap, help me quickly revert back to "unknowing" these things.

[Meggin D]

What's a Halloween oreo??? :)
Yet again, not found in Canada...

[Emily]

In order to stay on budget, I must take either my husband, a list, or plain AVOID Target. The clothing discounts are what get me the most. That and toys. Why? Okay, I've got clothes for when they grow out of what they're wearing, and I got it for 70% off the normal price. I've got a closet full of birthday presents, etc that I got for 50-75% off the normal price and I KNOW kids will like when their birthday rolls around. Target is evil.

Did you see the cool crayon books in the $1 area? Or the little triangles for making music that drives parents and pets insane? Yay!

[meghatron]

You've been "targeted!"

[Gingerert]

Oh, I am SO relieved I am not the only one this happens to. I TOLD YOU, husband... I TOLD YOU!

[Nate Shenk]

I don't have any kids yet and I ALREADY do this! I can't imagine what it's going to be like. My wife is going to ban me from ever going to Target haha.

[Velvet]

It is a hypnotic eye! That explains so much.....

[Emily]

Just keep in mind that their interest rate plain stinks even if you have good credit. 5% off only works if you pay it off immediately so they can't charge you 19-25% interest.

[A Facebook User]

hahaha so true. this happens to me all the time... BUT forgetting that one thing i went in there for give me an excuse to come back :P

[alex]

hahahaha that's pretty awesome. I have also fallen into the hypnotic Target influence, and rarely can leave without spending $100 on stuff like baby wipes, or anything with a red clearance sticker on it. :P

at my son's YMCA class this summer, they asked everyone what their favorite place to be was, and there were the usual answers like Disneyland, grandma's house, the bounce house place. One kid however, said Target. all the parents got a kick out of that. heh!

[MN]

Our nanny actually gave Target up for LENT! She was so addicted she started going in 5 days before Lent was over "just to look around." LOL Love the hypnotic eye!

[Sarah]

Somehow when I was preggo and overdue in the middle of winter and needed to get out of the house Target always was my walking place, I would literally waddle THE ENTIRE store for about 2 hours and somehow only buy one or two things..... Not now, oh you want this train set, sure get three pieces they are only a dollar.....

[kella]

LOL! the small print disclaimer is too funny too :)

[Karin]

Spot on!

[Hannah]

As usual, genius.

We love our Preserve toothbrushes. They come in a prepaid postage package that you can send back to them to be recycled into yogurt containers. The bristles are not animal hair, and they aren't recycled. ;)

[Brandi]

HAHA - HIlarious! I LOVE Target! Haven't been there in years!

[Julie Moses]

Thanks for the warning. I usually shop at the place with the happy face but was planning to switch. I will proceed with caution. As for giving up the toothbrush, you can just use a washcloth as long as you make sure to floss. Sometimes I think it actually works better. You should also use a new washcloth each time. Love the blog by the way. Four kids here. 18, 13, 10, and starting over at 2. Relating both past and present!

[Jeni]

Can you believe we don't have Target in Canada? But it's a-comin' oh yes Lawdy goodness and light.

[kristen]

My Hubby works for Target, so its worse for us because I go in there to not even buy anything, but just to 'say hi to daddy' and I end up seeing stuff we 'need' and its on sale and I get his discount...and before you know it, there's $100 worth of stuff in the cart.

[Laura C.]

What Emily said! I quickly managed to rack up about $900 on that card. 27% interest is not fun! My boyfriend made me cut it up as soon as I paid off the balance. So not worth it!

[A Facebook User]

Please be my best friend!! Haha!! You make me crack up!!! Everything you write about is absolutely a page from my life :0

[Jennifer]

I feel like Target is somehow specific to this epidemic. I don't go in Walmart and feel compelled to deviate from my list. I might pass by a display of baking stuff and remember I need a new box of baking soda but that's about it. I go in Target and somehow I end up with a bunch of stuff I had no idea I needed or wanted. I avoid going in there unless I have such a long list of stuff we really do need that adding to it seems financially irresponsible. Which is to say, I avoid going into Target ever.

[Heather]

I know how you feel- I can't get out of Target without at least 20 things I didn't mean to buy!! Ack....

[Victoria]

I seriously love you. You live my life.
I cannot walk out of Target with spending over a $100. Those damn endcaps don't help. They know how to get us, don't they! My husband and I laugh about 'Target time'. You walk in and walk around for 5 minutes, walk out and it is 1 1/2 hrs later. Every freaking time.

[Crystal]

bahaha, "they smell like ass." You are hilarious!

Also, thank you for explaining why I CANNOT enter a target and leave without spending $100. It is ridiculous.

[Angela Garrison]

They should change their name to the $100 store because no one and I mean NO ONE gets out of there without spending at least this much, even with a list to keep you on track! It is marketing genius. So much so that I avoid it like the plague!

[Amanda]

OMG, DYING! Target should be paying you for this post! So true and spot on, I love Target but I too fall prey to the hypnotic eye. LOL

[juju]

I'm a teacher... and the same thing happens to me in there... but for my students!

[Breanna Thurston]

I got out of there for just $15 today. It's a February miracle!

[Corinne O'Sullivan (aka Novice Mama)]

Oooh, I know this so well. I'd love to say taking the hubby with me stops me from buying anything, but he's worse at avoiding the bullseye than I am! (Which, for the record, I am NEVER going to be able to look at that bullseye again without feeling like Big Brother is hypnotizing me)

Target is dangerous, an amazing time-waster, and quite frankly, the best store ever!

Brilliant post!

[Francesca]

My weaknesses are (1) melamine dishes in bright colors-- I always think I'll get the kids to eat off of those. (2) kids' clothes, (3) scrapbooking supplies, (4) random stuff that I probably really do need.

[Amber Dusick]

No, not on there, but that can of tuna gift is hilarious.

[Liz]

If I don't have a list, what happened to you ALWAYS happens to me. ::sigh::

[Amber Dusick]

That is funny!

[Amber Dusick]

Cool, thanks for the rec.

[Syrmom]

Ha ha! I had to show this to my husband so that he could understand that it's out of my control - it's the giant Target Eye that made me buy all that stuff!

[Amber Dusick]

You get a discount? Oh boy, that would be dangerous.

[Amber Dusick]

Ikea does it to me too. Maybe even worse than Target because I accidentally come home with a new sofa.

[Heather]

My 6 yo did the same thing with Target as your friend's son. Everything he wanted real or not, we had to look at Target. We painted his room right before he turned 4. There is a space shuttle going off, a farm, and a town scene with fire trucks. Then there is a Target under construction. Being built by BCA construction (his initials). (My MIL is very talented, btw) So yes, it was such his favorite store that he has one in his room.

[Amber Dusick]

That IS a miracle.

[Amber Dusick]

Now that is true Target fan. You know, it is the one store my kids never freak out in. Something magic going on there.

[A Facebook User]

OMG - Everything you write makes me crack up and is so true especially this! Just last night I went into Target for 3 things....came out with 6 and only 1 was the original 3! And now our Target carries food and wine...yeah wine....could be dangerous!

[Samantha]

Omg so timely. This just happened to me today! $200 and a bunch of random stuff like a body pillow later I mumble to the check out clerk that I just popped in for a couple of frozen pizzas. I wonder how often she hears that.

[Cassi]

We don't have Target here. . . but that's okay, b/c I totally get it. The same thing happens to me @ Wal-Mart. SO glad I'm not the only person in the world who goes into the store for ONE THING and walks out with a whole cartload--minus the ONE THING. This is a particularly epic fail for me, because I live 30 miles from the store in the first place. ~sigh~

[Amber Dusick]

That is it! Exactly.

[Melanie]

How is it possible that I can relate to every single one of your posts? I went to Target on Monday and did this exact same thing only I was buying a coffee maker.

[Warda]

LOL so funny!

[Melissa]

The Target Debt card also gives 5% off every purchase and free shipping on target.com. Just like using my regular debt card, and since we buy our groceries there, totally worth it. I had the credit card a few years ago, and yes, that interest about ate me alive.

[Stacy]

When my mom was about 2, he informed me that he "was born at Target." Might as well be true.

[Tracy Poff]

IKEA gets you by physically trapping you in the store. You cannot find your way out. You buy a cinnamon roll because your survival mechanisms have kicked in and you think you may literally starve to *death* before you find the exit. And they have those ginormous bags that will put a permanent curve in your spine if you actually try to fill them up.

[CarrieM]

My sister and I call it the Target high. And my kids and I can't make it through a trip there without spending time checking out the toys in the toy section so it is never a quick trip, but after checking out the toys they tend to be more cooperative.

[Nicole @MTDLBlog]

This is priceless...and SO, SO, SO true.

[Katie Galvin]

I call Target my "I just need one thing but always spend at least $100" store. Last week I only spent $75 and did a happy dance.

[seashells]

Oh.my.heck! The hypnotic eye explains so much...I too am a dollar bin victim...do you suppose they have a Target shoppers anonymous support group? I need to join up! Want to be my sponsor?

[Kimberly at Rubber Chicken Madness]

Definitely hypnotic. And used toothbrushes? Ewwwww....

[Jen E @ mommablogsalot]

Um, yes EXACTLY. Every time!!! How do they do it?

[Mandijane6399]

My husband has banned me for the same reason too! Haha I can't wait to tell him he's not alone and that other men suffer the same fate in regards to Target!